Write at the Heart

There are certain expectations I have from my dishwasher. I put dishes in, push Start, hear humming, swishing, sloshing, draining, and when I open it up again, voila! Clean dishes! Except lately they are NOT coming out clean! Come on, it has ONE JOB! (First world problems.) But seriously, if it’s NOT cleaning, WHAT is all the noise? What is going on in there? It ACTS like it’s cleaning! It SOUNDS like it’s cleaning! But apparently it’s all for show. Those dishes don’t lie. After a period of AMAZING love, unity, & happiness comes the second half of 4th Nephi, and it’s really a downer. How does it start? Division and pride. People forgot Christ. “There were many churches which professed to know the Christ, and yet they did deny the more parts of his gospel, insomuch that they did receive all manner of wickedness...” (27) Key word PROFESSED. They CLAIMED to know Him. It sounded good on the outside, but the inside proved otherwise. “People draw near me with their mouth, and with their ...

In college I was set up on a date. As he opened the door of his truck for me, I thought, points for being a gentleman! I slid into my seat and immediately noticed I was sitting on something. And what do I pull out from under me? A GIGANTIC KNIFE. No sheath, just PURE BLADE! My date gets in the driver seat, and I’m not quite sure how to ask him if he’s TRYING TO KILL ME. I held up the jagged edges of steel glistening in the moonlight and said, uhhh, found this! He casually drawls, “Oh yeah, I just got done skinning the raccoon that’s in the back of my truck.” YEP. He then showed it to me!😂 Apart from not seeming alarmed AT ALL for leaving an open blade on his passenger seat as he went to pick up a PASSENGER, the date did not go well. Have you ever had someone open the door to a pickup truck of friendship only to be stabbed in the back (or, ya know, bottom😆) with gossip & judgment? Nobody needs fake kindness to your face, then talking behind your back. Nobody needs pretend friends....

At soccer, my son was THRILLED to see a couple kids from his 1st grade class on the opposing team. They smiled & waved before & after the game.  They weren’t wearing the same color. They weren’t rooting for the same outcome. They weren’t running in the same direction! But they were in the same class at school! And to these cute little kids, THAT, above all, is what mattered. I loved the messages of unity throughout conference! I feel to the core THIS is what God wants us to know. We are ALL His children. Yes, the complexities we face are more than a soccer game. But ultimately we are in the same class with the same teacher. I wish there was more smiling & waving, humanity & friendship while playing the game of life.  William K. Jackson talked of the culture of Christ: “This culture is grounded in the testimony that our Heavenly Father exists, that He is real and loves each one of us... This culture espouses the concept of equal worth. There is no recognition of...

 Okay, I COULDN’T help but compare 3 Ne. 3-4 to... STAR WARS. You see it too, right?! Giddianhi vs. Lachoneus? Dark Side vs. Light Side? The methods of Satan? Humor me here. FLATTERING Vader: Luke, you do not yet realize your importance. You've only begun to discover your power.  Giddianhi: I write this epistle unto you, and do give unto you exceedingly great praise; ye do stand well in defense TAUNTING Emperor: Oh no, my young Jedi, you will find that it is YOU who is mistaken- about a great many things! —Young fool! Giddianhi: It seemeth a pity unto me, most noble Lachoneus, that ye should be so foolish & vain HUNTING Emperor: Perhaps you refer to the imminent attack of your Rebel fleet... An entire legion of my best troops awaits them.  Giddianhi: ...many brave men who are at my command...do await with great anxiety for the word—Go down upon the Nephites and destroy them. RECRUITING/SEDUCING Vader: It is your destiny! Join me, and together, we can rule the galaxy a...

I was in 10th grade when I realized I was practically blind. Squinting at the board was my first clue, but I was shocked when I stood in front of the eye chart in driver’s ed! No amount of squinting would turn those fuzzy black blobs into letters!  The day I finally got glasses was MAGICAL! I walked in having NO IDEA what I was missing out on. I walked out looking at a WHOLE. NEW. WORLD. A world that was 3-D and full of vibrant color! A world where leaves, grass, and carpet had texture! A world where I could see who people were in the school hallways, and stop signs while driving!🙌🏼 I couldn’t believe I’d lived so long thinking the way I saw was good enough! Once things were clear, I was not going back. The Nephites saw many great wonders, signs, and miracles surrounding the Savior’s birth. The prophesies were true! They were “astonished” and “the more part of the people did believe” 3 Ne. 1 They saw! But after awhile “the people began to forget those signs and wonders which they...

I used to be in a biker gang. Yep. Only with less leather and more spandex. Less jackets with skulls and more jerseys with handy back pockets. And chains! Oh, not THOSE kinda chains. Okay, it was more of a group of women cyclists. But biker gang sounds better. Those were good times. We’d train as soon as the weather was warm enough, and one of the best parts of riding was the scenery we’d see along the way. It never got old! Every time we saw something cool we’d shout “NATURE!” bringing it to everyone’s attention in a split second, and together we’d marvel at animals like we were in a National Geographic magazine. It’s fun to share things that make you happy. My daughter got phase 1 braces and a palate expander at age 7 last year for a BAD cross bite. It’s a lot of metal for a little girl! She had the HARDEST time adjusting! While she eventually learned how to eat again, it hasn’t been too fun. Well, we just found out she gets her braces off TOMORROW! You know what she did? She ran aro...

The movie “The Iron Giant” makes me cry. Yep, the animated one about a kid finding a giant alien robot. The robot had lost his memory, so a boy teaches him about life and humans, and the robot is curious, gentle, and friendly. Eventually his memory is triggered when he is attacked by the military. He instinctively converts to what he was actually built for- a weapon of destruction. The boy desperately reminds him that he doesn't have to be that way, “You are who you choose to be!" The robot has to make a choice, and I won’t spoil it for you, but trust me, it gets me every time. And those words ring so true, “You are who you choose to be." I know it's easier said than done. But I do believe we all can choose who we really want to be. We can make excuses and wallow and tell ourselves it just isn't possible, that it's too hard, or not in our programming. But what kind of life would it be if we didn't have that choice? No matter where we came from, there is no...

I sat down at the piano the other day.  I tried to play songs I once knew by heart, and I couldn't quite figure it out.  The thing is, my fingers KNEW it.  They instinctively grabbed for the keys, but one little note would throw me off. And I'm like- you KNEW this, SO WELL at one point.  But when you don't practice... ya get a little rusty. Whenever I sit and play music, I remember why I loved it so much.  I remember how good I once was. It's like a part of my soul is awakened that I’d neglected, nearly forgotten. But if I don't sit and play once in awhile, it quietly starts slipping away. Those songs will always be part of my soul, my memory, because I spent so much of my life in front of a piano, playing with my heart.  It doesn't all get erased.  It can't.  It may be dormant, but it is there.  Etched in my very foundation. We all forget things sometimes. It takes just a few notes to stir the memories.  The emotion.  The desire. W...

My mom began running marathons when I was 16. I thought she was a little crazy. She is the most dedicated, consistent, motivated, optimistic person I know! Well, her positive energy was contagious and 4 years later I started running with her. I trained for my first marathon, my mom with me every step of the way! It was amazing to see what I was capable of. I would have NEVER believed I could be a runner, let alone run marathons, if my mom hadn’t believed in me. Over the next few years we ran some marathons together, but she would proceed to run 24 marathons!!! Between having a bunch of babies, half marathons became more my thing! Two years ago she signed up for her 25th and final marathon. She always wanted to make it to 25! And although I hadn’t run a full marathon in years, I signed up too! I went into the race feeling pretty good! I even had hopes I could PR! Well, a nice dose of humility was in store for me. The marathon went horribly! It was a nightmare that wouldn’t end. I was SO...

Last week while camping, I was hugging my daughter and felt a little bump on her shoulder. You know what I found? A TICK! Ahh!! I had never seen one in my entire life! After some SLIGHT panicking and some quick Googling, we found some tweezers. I then proceeded to pull that thing out of my daughter’s skin. It took three tries, but I got it! Now we just have to wait and see if she develops any symptoms of Lyme disease in the next 30 days. So that’s great. I think of that tick and find it interesting my daughter didn’t even feel it. It was sucking her blood, FEEDING on her, and yet, she had NO idea. How lucky that I happened to feel it! Otherwise, it could have fed on her for up to 10 days! Reading about ticks just creeps me out. They’re incredibly resilient. And they do something called “questing,” where they basically lie in wait, clinging to leaves and grass with their back legs while stretching out their front legs, just waiting to grab onto a host! AND their saliva also has anti-inf...

We found some natural sandstone water slides during our camping trip this weekend. What an adrenaline rush! But, as they say, it’s all fun and games until someone dislocates a finger. My husband came out of the water and really freaked the kids out with his crooked, bloody finger. OH, AND ME. It was pretty grotesque. After an x-ray determined it was NOT broken (whew), the doctor took his finger and gave it a nice, big YANK. And boom, just like that, his crooked finger was made straight. What’s funny is his pain level was actually pretty tolerable BEFORE the yanking of the finger. BUT- it was inevitable... It had to be fixed. To realign the bone, to promote function, to bring healing, Great pain was required. We might think we are “okay.” The pain is manageable. Maybe we don’t even need a doctor? We can live with it. But if nothing is done, proper healing cannot take place. Sometimes fixing what is broken is an EXCRUCIATING process. But in the whole scheme of things, one excruciating mo...

We are on day 3 of camping, which is pretty big for us “non-campers.” (We love the outdoors, but are more... cabin people? AirBNB people?) But we are doing it! We are proving to ourselves we CAN be campers, we CAN! However, the first night we got here, it was POURING rain. And THEN when we tried to set up our tent, we realized a pole was broken! Like, when you go camping, isn’t the tent a pretty important part?! We proceeded to jimmy-rig it and hoped for the best! To our frustration, the tent collapsed like three times as we were setting up camp. Yeah. And that night as I listened to it rain, I was like, PLEASE let us just make it through the night without the tent collapsing on us!!! And we did. The tent STOOD. I think it hung on, just for us. Cause then it collapsed again that morning. But our tent had done exactly what it was supposed to do. Did it look great? No. It looked like a sad, droopy, deformed thing. But did it do the one thing I asked it to do? The one thing it was meant t...

Yesterday my husband taught my 8-year-old daughter to float on her back while kicking her legs. She was SO proud of herself and shouted at me in glee to watch! She had never dared try this without floaties before. Well, after a minute or two of showing me her new skill, a boat whizzed behind her, sending ripples of water towards the shore. Not realizing what was happening, her back to the coming waves, my daughter leaned back into floating position, just like she’d been doing, and to her utter surprise a wave washed over her head. She came up sputtering, immediately crying in terror and indignation. Coming to me, she sobbed, “I want to go home!!” My husband and I comforted and reassured her that we were right there to keep her safe. After a minute, she put her floaties back on and headed back into the water. But once she got in again, she started crying again “thinking about what happened to me.” Aw, poor girl! I thought, that’s just too bad that RIGHT AFTER she was brave enough to flo...

I made peach freezer jam yesterday, and I gotta say, I am feeling pret-ty darn proud of myself! It turned out amazing! Just call me Suzy Homemaker! While I know freezer jam is actually kinda easy, it IS time consuming. The peeling, pitting, lots and lots of stirring, waiting, more stirring, more waiting. My 8-year-old was super excited to help me, and she did some great stirring in the beginning, but after so much she got bored and gave up. But then came the reward for my efforts- delicious jam! I think about the process it took for those peaches to become jam, and I think about Alma the Younger’s amazing conversion. His story is one of my favorites!! I love any story where someone chooses to completely change for the better. “And oh, what joy, and what marvelous light I did behold; yea, my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain! Yea, I say unto you, my son, that there could be nothing so exquisite and so bitter as were my pains. Yea, and again I say unto you, my son, tha...