Write at the Heart

I’m SURE the Jaredites did not sing EVERY day of their 344-day journey while tossed around at sea, stuck in barges, eating who knows what, separated from friends, with minimal personal space, no nature, nowhere to escape, no end in sight, no Google Maps telling them their estimated arrival time, not to mention a questionable plumbing situation...  And I’m SURE not ALL of them sang, I mean, there’s gotta be that guy in the corner wondering how he got trapped in the von Trapp family...  Or maybe they did?! “And they did sing praises to the Lord; yes, the brother of Jared did sing praises unto the Lord, and he did thank and praise the Lord all the day long; and when the night came, they did not cease to praise the Lord” (Eth. 6:9) They sang through the wind. They sang DURING THE TRIAL. Who does that? The Jaredites. And my mom.  A few years ago she helped me train for my first marathon. I woke up the morning of our scheduled 18-mile run to an actual blizzard. But I knew my mo...

I’m really trying to “redouble” my efforts in prayer, as Elder Ballard counseled, and while I’m probably closer to “re-quartering” my efforts, at least I’m trying. This morning while on my way to meet a friend, I offered up a prayer out loud. Anyone else pray aloud while driving? This friend has some very difficult trials, and I’m trying to be more thoughtful and specific in my prayers, so I prayed that I’d know what to say to help and encourage her. I prayed to be an instrument in His hands. As she told me of her struggles, I tried to be helpful. During our conversation, at one point she looked at me and said, “You are just nailing it in your words today!” I immediately felt God in that moment! Later, after making another comment to her, she told me with emotion that it was an answer to her prayer. I’ve been thinking about it a lot, how simple my car-prayer was, but how sweet that I received a tender manifestation that it was answered!  You see, I KNOW how I hear Him! I LOVE seeki...

We were SO excited to take our kids to Disneyland. I read article after article on preparing for that day. I packed the bag with ALL the essentials. We got up early, ensured the kids looked cute for the billions of pictures to be taken, loaded everyone up, and drove the 20 minutes from our hotel. We parked, got the stroller loaded, down the elevator, and out to the shuttles. We were so close! We’d done so well! And then I noticed one of my sons wasn’t wearing shoes. How did I miss that! I asked WHERE ARE YOUR SHOES?? He looked down, surprised, and said sheepishly, Oh, I just forgot. Yep. Forgot to put on shoes. To go to DISNEYLAND. Where shoes are KINDA important. We ended up buying him $40 Mickey Mouse Crocs at Downtown Disney, the CHEAPEST shoes we could find. 😂 In the hustle and bustle of life, I take care of a lot of things. But I’m guilty of something way too often... forgetting to pray. THERE. I SAID IT. Way too often I sheepishly look down and say, oh yeah, I forgot. Now before...

He tarried longer. He had important things to do- see the Father, visit the lost tribes of Israel... and He had already given so much. But he saw their tears, and sensed their longing for Him to stay. So He did. He was filled with compassion. He healed the sick and afflicted, every one. He blessed each child. And He knelt upon the ground with them and prayed for them. “And no tongue can speak, neither can there be written by any man, neither can the hearts of men conceive so great and marvelous things as we both saw and heard Jesus speak; and no one can conceive of the joy which filled our souls at the time we heard him pray for us unto the Father." (3 Ne. 17:15-17) They heard Him pray FOR THEM.  I can’t imagine. It could not even be written! So great was their joy, "they were overcome." (18) Last night I was so frustrated with my 10-year-old. She was angry and moody. Girl’s got some pre-teen hormones raging and right before bedtime is when her worries & emotions all...

 I was pregnant with baby no.5 checking out at Walmart when the middle-aged cashier asks, "Are all these kids yours?” Oh, HERE we go.  I say brightly, "Yes, they are!"  She says, "Oh, wow. And you are going to have another one."  “Yeah!" I answer.  She studies my kids, my belly, (always fun), asks more questions, then exclaims sympathetically, "Wow, you POOR lady!” I really didn't know what to say to that, but I just laughed a bit and left. I kept thinking about her statement, "You poor lady" and it bothered me all day. It made me think: Why should having a bunch of kids make people feel sorry for me? I TOTALLY get that she was most likely coming from a well-intentioned place and I get that people see my situation as busy, tiring, and hard, and while it can be ALL those things, I just don't think people should feel sorry for me at all! I chose this! Between the laundry & dishes, the whining & fighting, the laughing & snug...

Three years ago we felt prompted to move, and as time went on those feelings got stronger and stronger. Six months ago we headed off on this new adventure, away from our family, friends, and house of 12 years to a completely unfamiliar place multiple states away. Then two months in, the world went crazy. I could have NEVER predicted the year like this! Just what the kids needed after we ripped them out of their comfort zone, right... Needless to say, it’s been hard for the kids to make friends, and my heart has hurt for them, and many tears have been shed by them and by me, and while they have been so resilient in many ways, sometimes I wonder what we have done! And yet... in my heart I know we are supposed to be here, and have felt God’s reassurance, love, and tender mercies throughout all of this! For one, our family is closer than ever. Watching my kids be each other’s best friends is a beautiful thing, even if it is by default. But friends are important. And there have been two par...

I, along with every other parent, am wrestling with what to do with the kids this year for school. I go back and forth, back and forth, and as I seek for answers through prayer, I am frustrated. Why can’t I get like a CLEAR answer for once? Like, BOOM, “Thou shalt do THIS!! THIS is what’s best for your children, THIS path is what I want you to do, and you will NOT ruin your children with THIS PATH!!!” Alas, I’m not hearing that. Sigh. Instead, I’m reading everyone else’s back and forth debates online, trying to get a read of what everyone ELSE is doing... cause I’m kind of a follower. Personal revelation is hard sometimes, yo. And I’d like to get better at it. I really really want to “hear Him” a lot better than I do. Don’t get me wrong, I try, and I have definitely been guided throughout my life. But sometimes it’s just so dang subtle and I am weary of guessing and hoping a certain direction is right... after a few steps in, more clarity always comes, but it requires so much patience!...

  Alma taught the poor Zoramites, who had been cast out of the synagogues by the rich, that they actually could pray and worship anywhere. He reminds them what Zenos said- that God heard him in the wilderness, in the fields, in his house, in his closet, in the midst of the congregation, AND God heard him when he was cast out. That God hears those who seek HIM and NOT men. That God hears us in our afflictions. In our sincerity. And He is merciful! “Therefore I will cry unto thee in all mine afflictions, for in thee is my joy.” Alma 33:11 It is beautiful that I can pray to a loving Heavenly Father, and He will hear me anywhere! I have prayed in some unexpected places, and have felt his peace in some unexpected places. I think of Joseph Smith’s “temple-prison,” the horrific Liberty Jail, and love Elder Holland’s words, “You can have sacred, revelatory, profoundly instructive experience with the Lord in any situation you are in. Indeed, let me say that even a little stronger: You can h...