Write at the Heart

When my daughter was 4, she exclaimed one day, "I can't believe Jesus MADE me!!” It was so random, I laughed & said, “I know!"  To which she responded thoughtfully, "He's a sweet guy." 😂 I had a horrible relationship with my body as a teenager. I struggled with disordered eating and my self esteem was trapped on a rollercoaster with ups & downs depending on what I THOUGHT I saw in the mirror each day.  Thankfully that is WAY behind me. I don’t even know that girl anymore! Much of the healing came from recognizing JUST what my daughter exclaimed: He Made Me. Receiving this body was part of my eternal plan. I fought for it. I shouted for joy for it. It is the vessel that carries my spirit. It is the instrument of God, helping fulfill His purpose. It is not something to be despised. It is a gift! I am so grateful for what it can do! “Our entire perspective of ourselves, our worth, and what we can make of our lives is altered for good when we come to un...

When my daughter was 4, she went through a phase where she hugged random people everywhere we went. It was cute and scary at the same time. 😆 One day we were at the store and there was an old man holding a nutcracker. Delighted, she ran up to him and exclaimed, "That's a nutcracker!" He said, yes it is, and then she THREW her arms around him. I cringed a bit! He looked surprised and then smiled. Then he said, "I haven't had someone hug me in a long time!"  ❤️ As we left, my daughter shouted after him, "You're the best!" (And then we had a talk about boundaries & strangers, ha!) It's funny how young kids have no preconceived notions. Too often I avoid eye contact with others, and yet kids don’t think twice about it. They unabashedly stare! They’re curious & sincere, (& in some cases very open about their affection!) They notice others! I felt a prick in my heart as I read what Moroni saw about our day. He saw us "walk in th...

Years ago when my daughter was just learning soccer, we’d shout from the sidelines, “Get the ball! Take the ball! Kick the ball!” and it just wasn’t clicking. Then, after a couple games, she scored her first goal! She ran up to me and said with enlightenment, “Mom. Soccer games are NOT about being nice!” 😂 I get what she meant, but that’s not quite the lesson we wanted to teach! There’s always room for being nice. I’ve seen both good & bad sportsmanship watching kid sports! But it never fails- when a player gets injured on the field, ALL the other players from both teams “take a knee.” And when the fallen player gets back up, either to continue the game or sit on the sidelines, everyone applauds! We all get knocked down. We get bumped & bruised. We have mistakes & failures. Don’t we all deserve concern & respect in vulnerable times? Don’t we all deserve support & encouragement when we get back up? The words of Isaiah in 3 Ne. 22 are some of my absolute favorites. “...

At soccer, my son was THRILLED to see a couple kids from his 1st grade class on the opposing team. They smiled & waved before & after the game.  They weren’t wearing the same color. They weren’t rooting for the same outcome. They weren’t running in the same direction! But they were in the same class at school! And to these cute little kids, THAT, above all, is what mattered. I loved the messages of unity throughout conference! I feel to the core THIS is what God wants us to know. We are ALL His children. Yes, the complexities we face are more than a soccer game. But ultimately we are in the same class with the same teacher. I wish there was more smiling & waving, humanity & friendship while playing the game of life.  William K. Jackson talked of the culture of Christ: “This culture is grounded in the testimony that our Heavenly Father exists, that He is real and loves each one of us... This culture espouses the concept of equal worth. There is no recognition of...

He tarried longer. He had important things to do- see the Father, visit the lost tribes of Israel... and He had already given so much. But he saw their tears, and sensed their longing for Him to stay. So He did. He was filled with compassion. He healed the sick and afflicted, every one. He blessed each child. And He knelt upon the ground with them and prayed for them. “And no tongue can speak, neither can there be written by any man, neither can the hearts of men conceive so great and marvelous things as we both saw and heard Jesus speak; and no one can conceive of the joy which filled our souls at the time we heard him pray for us unto the Father." (3 Ne. 17:15-17) They heard Him pray FOR THEM.  I can’t imagine. It could not even be written! So great was their joy, "they were overcome." (18) Last night I was so frustrated with my 10-year-old. She was angry and moody. Girl’s got some pre-teen hormones raging and right before bedtime is when her worries & emotions all...

 I was pregnant with baby no.5 checking out at Walmart when the middle-aged cashier asks, "Are all these kids yours?” Oh, HERE we go.  I say brightly, "Yes, they are!"  She says, "Oh, wow. And you are going to have another one."  “Yeah!" I answer.  She studies my kids, my belly, (always fun), asks more questions, then exclaims sympathetically, "Wow, you POOR lady!” I really didn't know what to say to that, but I just laughed a bit and left. I kept thinking about her statement, "You poor lady" and it bothered me all day. It made me think: Why should having a bunch of kids make people feel sorry for me? I TOTALLY get that she was most likely coming from a well-intentioned place and I get that people see my situation as busy, tiring, and hard, and while it can be ALL those things, I just don't think people should feel sorry for me at all! I chose this! Between the laundry & dishes, the whining & fighting, the laughing & snug...

It was a busy day at the amusement park. We were standing in line for the swings behind a lady and her two sons when I happened to overhear the kid operating the ride ask the lady in a low, secretive voice, "So, you wanna ride twice?" She nodded. He says, "Okay, just stay on the ride."  My immediate thoughts are-- wait, wait, WHAT! Are you KIDDING ME? He's gonna let them ride twice?! Look at this line! We’ve all been waiting! I bet that's HER son working, and he's gonna give his family special privileges! Does he do this with other people? That is breaking rules, come on! When you start judging someone on ONE thing, it's so easy to judge them on another thing, and pretty soon you think you have their WHOLE LIFE figured out. Let me tell you what happened next. The worker opens the gate, lets this lady in, and shuts the gate. Huh? Then he opens the exit. And in comes a man, pushing a teen boy in a wheelchair with obvious mental and physical impairments...

Every single night for like a year now my littlest boy tells me, “I love you to the infinitieth power every day at every time." Then yesterday he came home from school with it written on the back of a worksheet. ❤️ I don't know where he got this saying, or where he learned the infinity symbol, but it is the sweetest! I mean, you can't really top the infinitieth power. This same kid also informed me awhile ago, “If you ever kicked me out of the house, I wouldn't run away from you, mom. I'd just stay on the front porch." 😂 I mean, I’m not PLANNING on kicking anyone out, but good to know!  Can you tell he’s kind of a mama’s boy? You know who else stays on the front porch after we kick Him out? The One who was born in a stable because there was no room for Him at the inn. The One who was mocked, scorned, humiliated, accused, betrayed, scourged, abused, put to death. The One who taught LOVE, even your enemies. The One whose message was and is rejected throughout h...

One time I was at my son’s baseball game with five little kids. The game had just ended when a gigantic hailstorm hit. I ushered the kids under the ledge of a nearby building where we huddled until it let up. I thought, maybe we can make a run for it to the van. So off we raced toward the parking lot, which now seemed MILES away.  No sooner had we started our little jaunt when the charcoal sky burst open again, worse than before. It was CHAOS! I was like, do we turn back?! NO no no, we are too far out now, just gotta keep going! We're getting more drenched every second, I'm running with a 2-year-old in my arms while trying to herd 4 other bodies, and they are all SCREAMING THEIR HEADS OFF as thunder shakes the ground and hail pelts us in the face, and the van is still SO FAR AWAY! I’m yelling over the noise, “Come on! Just follow me! Keep following me!!” We FINALLY made it to the van, the kids scrambled into their seats in RECORD time, and I slammed the doors shut. The kids are...

 I love getting a peek at Alma’s counsel to each of his sons, each different, each bearing testimony of divine truths. I feel his love for them! I once heard that kids aren't really a lump of clay that you mold into whatever you want... they are more like seeds. But they don’t come inside a packet with a picture telling you exactly what they are and exactly what they need. It’s only as you care for them that you start to see what is growing— you start to see what you’ve gotten yourself into, ha! Then you cater to what that specific plant needs- some need more sun... some need certain soil... Nurture plays a lot into our personalities... but so does nature! As I read old journal entries, I am amazed that years later my kids have sooo many traits they had as babies and toddlers. They are not blank slates! They come with their own set of unique attributes! It’s been fascinating to watch. Of course, I can guide them and help them grow the best way I know how, but what works for one kid...

A few months ago I was having a bad day. I was at the grocery store, grumpy, feeling like a jerk cause of something I said earlier, and just really down in the dumps. I was deep in thought mentally beating myself up when I glanced up. A lady walking down the aisle looked at me, and she smiled. Not a sympathetic, “what is going on with HER” smile. Not a polite smile. Not a “wow, she looks stressed but I just need to get past her to the cereal and I don’t want to make this awkward” smile. It was a warm, kind smile. So much so that my first thought was, “Does she know me?” But I’d never seen her before. I don’t know why she smiled at me. I mean, she could probably tell I was about to burst into tears at any moment, so there’s that. But in that split second that she went out of her way to smile at me, I immediately felt lifted. It was simple. But I felt genuine love and goodness from a stranger. I think a lot of us often feel we are not enough, that our tiny efforts don’t matter, that we c...

The “more popular” and rich people of the Zoramites cast out the poor for believing Alma and Amulek’s words. The poor were kindly taken in by the people of Jershon- the people of Ammon. When the rich Zoramites found out, they were mad, and sent threats over to the people of Ammon, REALLY wanting THEM to cast out the poor as well. But they didn’t listen. In fact, they did not even fear these threats. They not only received these “outcasts” in their land, but they nourished them, clothed them, provided places for them to live, and administered to them. How beautiful is that! It makes me want to be better! Do I “receive” those who are cast out? Do I minister to them without fearing the repercussions? What sacrifices do I make for the poor? I could do better. A lot better. Amulek’s words are powerful and to the point, “Yea, and when you do not cry unto the Lord, let your hearts be full, drawn out in prayer unto him continually for your welfare, and also for the welfare of those who are aro...