Write at the Heart

Uprooting our family and moving cross country for no other reason other than we felt prompted to was not easy, and I couldn’t help but compare our experience to the Jaredites’ move. While we didn't have to gather a bunch of flocks (Ether 2:1), we did gather all our things, And while we didn't have to "lay snares and catch fowls of the air" (2:2), we did pack food, And while we didn't have to build barges, we did prepare our vessels (2)— two vehicles stuffed to the brim! Oh, we prayed they’d make it! And while we didn't carry fish or bees with us (2:2-3), we did carry our cat, And while we didn't travel in the "wilderness,” (2:5) we did travel many miles of freeway in winter conditions, And while we didn't pitch any tents (2:13), we did stay in hotels, And okay, while our journey really was NOTHING like the Jaredites’ journey, We DID "cry unto him whither we shall go" (1:38) just as they did. The Lord DID hear us, just as he heard the bro...

Years ago my son flushed some toys down the toilet. We called the best repairman we knew! My dad. He snaked it, plunged it, put it in the tub to flush water through it, and a ball came out! He reinstalled the toilet. But to our chagrin, it STILL wouldn’t flush! What. He removed the toilet AGAIN, repeated everything he’d just done, and even stuck a wire hanger all the way through it! Nothin’! Well, we got a new toilet. 🤷‍♀️ THEN we brought the old toilet outside and with GREAT anticipation smashed it with a hammer! And wouldn’t you know, in the S-curve was a small, seemingly insignificant plastic orange! That little clogged orange had completely destroyed the functionality of the toilet! I realize comparing the flow of a toilet to the spirit in our lives is a little weird, but they’re both pretty important, and yes, I’m going there! In Mormon 1 we read about such evil and blasphemy that the disciples were taken away, miracles and healing ceased, all spiritual gifts were gone, and “the ...

There are certain expectations I have from my dishwasher. I put dishes in, push Start, hear humming, swishing, sloshing, draining, and when I open it up again, voila! Clean dishes! Except lately they are NOT coming out clean! Come on, it has ONE JOB! (First world problems.) But seriously, if it’s NOT cleaning, WHAT is all the noise? What is going on in there? It ACTS like it’s cleaning! It SOUNDS like it’s cleaning! But apparently it’s all for show. Those dishes don’t lie. After a period of AMAZING love, unity, & happiness comes the second half of 4th Nephi, and it’s really a downer. How does it start? Division and pride. People forgot Christ. “There were many churches which professed to know the Christ, and yet they did deny the more parts of his gospel, insomuch that they did receive all manner of wickedness...” (27) Key word PROFESSED. They CLAIMED to know Him. It sounded good on the outside, but the inside proved otherwise. “People draw near me with their mouth, and with their ...

I’m really trying to “redouble” my efforts in prayer, as Elder Ballard counseled, and while I’m probably closer to “re-quartering” my efforts, at least I’m trying. This morning while on my way to meet a friend, I offered up a prayer out loud. Anyone else pray aloud while driving? This friend has some very difficult trials, and I’m trying to be more thoughtful and specific in my prayers, so I prayed that I’d know what to say to help and encourage her. I prayed to be an instrument in His hands. As she told me of her struggles, I tried to be helpful. During our conversation, at one point she looked at me and said, “You are just nailing it in your words today!” I immediately felt God in that moment! Later, after making another comment to her, she told me with emotion that it was an answer to her prayer. I’ve been thinking about it a lot, how simple my car-prayer was, but how sweet that I received a tender manifestation that it was answered!  You see, I KNOW how I hear Him! I LOVE seeki...

There was no bread. The first time Christ administered the sacrament to the Nephites, He commanded his disciples to go and get some bread and wine. (3 Ne. 18:1) So they did. I imagine they went quickly and grabbed the best bread they had! But the second time, no one brought any!  “Now, there had been no bread, neither wine, brought by the disciples, neither by the multitude” (20:6) Did the disciples look at each other and say, “Oh no! Why didn’t we think to bring bread?!” No matter the reason, there was a lack. And somehow, someway, Jesus produced bread.  “But he truly gave unto them bread to eat, and also wine to drink.” (7) Christ KNOWS how to get bread- He fed 5000 people with only 5 loaves and 2 fishes & had 12 baskets left over! The Lord also said to Moses, “I will rain bread from heaven for you” (Ex. 16:4) and the people ate manna for days! So if Jesus could make miracle bread, why did He make the disciples go and get some that first time?  Good question! I’ve t...

 When Capture the Flag Makes You Cry:  Last night I sat on our front steps and watched the kids play Capture the Flag with the neighborhood and I felt myself get emotional. What is the deal!  The deal is moving here was not planned. MOVING was, yes. For a couple years my husband and I both felt promptings and knew in our hearts a change was coming. We just thought that change was somewhere else. In fact, we’d accepted a tentative offer somewhere else- overseas. Then this offer came, and as much as I pushed back at first (it wasn’t the PLAN!) it totally felt right. Everything about it. And here we are living in a place that was never on our radar, ever. The timing of everything is so interesting & we look back and know God had a hand. In the first couple months while I comforted sad, homesick children, I often asked myself, WHAT have we done? The kids would ask why we moved, and our best answer was, “We just felt like we needed to.” Which isn’t satisfying for a hurting...

I was in 10th grade when I realized I was practically blind. Squinting at the board was my first clue, but I was shocked when I stood in front of the eye chart in driver’s ed! No amount of squinting would turn those fuzzy black blobs into letters!  The day I finally got glasses was MAGICAL! I walked in having NO IDEA what I was missing out on. I walked out looking at a WHOLE. NEW. WORLD. A world that was 3-D and full of vibrant color! A world where leaves, grass, and carpet had texture! A world where I could see who people were in the school hallways, and stop signs while driving!🙌🏼 I couldn’t believe I’d lived so long thinking the way I saw was good enough! Once things were clear, I was not going back. The Nephites saw many great wonders, signs, and miracles surrounding the Savior’s birth. The prophesies were true! They were “astonished” and “the more part of the people did believe” 3 Ne. 1 They saw! But after awhile “the people began to forget those signs and wonders which they...

Do your ears (er, eyes?) perk up like mine when you read “thus we see” in the scriptures? Like, ooh, here comes the lesson! The moral of the story! I have some good Thus We Sees in my life. Thus we see that chewing gum during your first kiss is a really bad idea. Thus we see that putting slime in the kids’ Easter baskets was also a really bad idea. Ha! But there’s GOOD ones too. Thus we see that the Come Follow Me program was inspired for the year 2020! And THESE Thus We Sees are definitely true for me: Hel. 3:27-30 “THUS WE MAY SEE that the Lord is merciful unto all who will, in the sincerity of their hearts, call upon his holy name. “Yea, THUS WE SEE that the gate of heaven is open unto all, even to those who will believe on the name of Jesus Christ, who is the Son of God. “Yea, WE SEE that whosoever will may lay hold upon the word of God, which is quick and powerful, which shall divide asunder all the cunning and the snares and the wiles of the devil, and lead the man of Christ in a...

Captain Moroni! Love him! He had prepared his army with arm-shields, breastplates, head-shields, and thick clothing. The army of Zarahemna... had NOT. They had weapons, but were “naked, save it were a skin which was girded about their loins.” When they saw the Nephites, “they were exceedingly afraid of the armies of the Nephites because of their armor, notwithstanding their number being so much greater than the Nephites.” Alma 43 Isn’t that interesting? They had “more than double the number of the Nephites“ and yet THEY were afraid. Why? Because the Nephites had ARMOR. At times I feel like Satan is WINNING this world. Wickedness is everywhere. The works of darkness aren’t even in the dark- they’re obvious! It feels overpowering. It’s TOO MUCH. But guess what? We are IN IT. “Brothers and sisters, we are at war with Satan for the souls of men.” Rasband BUT- “It is a war we can and will win.” Pres Monson We have the BEST kind of armor. And even though our numbers can feel few in compariso...

Three years ago we felt prompted to move, and as time went on those feelings got stronger and stronger. Six months ago we headed off on this new adventure, away from our family, friends, and house of 12 years to a completely unfamiliar place multiple states away. Then two months in, the world went crazy. I could have NEVER predicted the year like this! Just what the kids needed after we ripped them out of their comfort zone, right... Needless to say, it’s been hard for the kids to make friends, and my heart has hurt for them, and many tears have been shed by them and by me, and while they have been so resilient in many ways, sometimes I wonder what we have done! And yet... in my heart I know we are supposed to be here, and have felt God’s reassurance, love, and tender mercies throughout all of this! For one, our family is closer than ever. Watching my kids be each other’s best friends is a beautiful thing, even if it is by default. But friends are important. And there have been two par...

In Alma 37, Alma entrusts his son Helaman with the brass plates, also instructing him to keep his own record of the people, and to “keep all these things sacred which I have kept, even as I have kept them; for it is for a wise purpose that they are kept... which purpose is known unto God... that he may show forth his power unto future generations.” Then comes a warning: “If ye transgress the commandments of God, behold, these things which are sacred shall be taken away from you by the power of God, and ye shall be delivered up unto Satan...” And a promise: “But if ye keep the commandments of God, and do with these things which are sacred according to that which the Lord doth command you... behold, no power of earth or hell can take them from you, for God is powerful to the fulfilling of all his words. For he will fulfil all his promises which he shall make unto you, for he has fulfilled his promises which he has made unto our fathers.” I have a lot of thoughts, but the main ones are th...

I, along with every other parent, am wrestling with what to do with the kids this year for school. I go back and forth, back and forth, and as I seek for answers through prayer, I am frustrated. Why can’t I get like a CLEAR answer for once? Like, BOOM, “Thou shalt do THIS!! THIS is what’s best for your children, THIS path is what I want you to do, and you will NOT ruin your children with THIS PATH!!!” Alas, I’m not hearing that. Sigh. Instead, I’m reading everyone else’s back and forth debates online, trying to get a read of what everyone ELSE is doing... cause I’m kind of a follower. Personal revelation is hard sometimes, yo. And I’d like to get better at it. I really really want to “hear Him” a lot better than I do. Don’t get me wrong, I try, and I have definitely been guided throughout my life. But sometimes it’s just so dang subtle and I am weary of guessing and hoping a certain direction is right... after a few steps in, more clarity always comes, but it requires so much patience!...

When I was a teenager I remember someone bearing their testimony about faith. How faith is not a perfect knowledge- it starts with a hope and a desire, and that’s all! I remember feeling a sense of relief! I had been struggling with the idea of a testimony- did I have one? I didn’t know everything and I didn’t know for sure! BUT I DID have a desire. I could work with that! This is exactly what Alma taught. If ye have no more than a DESIRE to believe, let THAT work in you. Exercise a PARTICLE of faith! “Give place that a seed may be planted in your heart.” As I made space for my testimony to grow, as I let Him in, as I humbled myself and was ready to hear, truths came, they swelled, they bloomed. My experiences with the Holy Ghost are indescribable. They keep me all in. They “enlarge my soul” and “enlighten my understanding.” That’s truly what it feels like! It’s transcendent. And I can’t deny it. It is “most precious” and “sweet” to me. As I have planted seeds of faith again and again,...

  Alma taught the poor Zoramites, who had been cast out of the synagogues by the rich, that they actually could pray and worship anywhere. He reminds them what Zenos said- that God heard him in the wilderness, in the fields, in his house, in his closet, in the midst of the congregation, AND God heard him when he was cast out. That God hears those who seek HIM and NOT men. That God hears us in our afflictions. In our sincerity. And He is merciful! “Therefore I will cry unto thee in all mine afflictions, for in thee is my joy.” Alma 33:11 It is beautiful that I can pray to a loving Heavenly Father, and He will hear me anywhere! I have prayed in some unexpected places, and have felt his peace in some unexpected places. I think of Joseph Smith’s “temple-prison,” the horrific Liberty Jail, and love Elder Holland’s words, “You can have sacred, revelatory, profoundly instructive experience with the Lord in any situation you are in. Indeed, let me say that even a little stronger: You can h...