Write at the Heart

Fall kinda stresses me out. As soon as I see those first colors make their grand appearance, I’m half happy gushing over the season and half heartbroken thinking of its end. Alas, it always does, despite my pleadings! Goodbye Fall, goodbye. But... of course I know it’s not the end. The leaves will be back. They will! You know what else comes back? Hair. Today I tried to trim side bangs & in an unfortunate series of events, I accidentally cut WAY TOO MUCH.  So now I resemble my 4th grade self.  It’s fine. 🤦‍♀️ But guess what- hair grows back! It is not the end! “Has the end come yet? Behold I say unto you, Nay; and God had not ceased to be a God of miracles.” (Mormon 9:15) Those words stood out to me this week! Whatever happens in life, we can be assured it is NOT the end. Things may look bleak for awhile. But this is the 2nd act in a 3-act play. There is always hope! Rob Gardner’s album “The Lamb of God” is so touching, and I recently listened to “Here is Hope,” meant to ...

There are certain expectations I have from my dishwasher. I put dishes in, push Start, hear humming, swishing, sloshing, draining, and when I open it up again, voila! Clean dishes! Except lately they are NOT coming out clean! Come on, it has ONE JOB! (First world problems.) But seriously, if it’s NOT cleaning, WHAT is all the noise? What is going on in there? It ACTS like it’s cleaning! It SOUNDS like it’s cleaning! But apparently it’s all for show. Those dishes don’t lie. After a period of AMAZING love, unity, & happiness comes the second half of 4th Nephi, and it’s really a downer. How does it start? Division and pride. People forgot Christ. “There were many churches which professed to know the Christ, and yet they did deny the more parts of his gospel, insomuch that they did receive all manner of wickedness...” (27) Key word PROFESSED. They CLAIMED to know Him. It sounded good on the outside, but the inside proved otherwise. “People draw near me with their mouth, and with their ...

One time after a pretty rough day with the kids, I told my husband that my then 3-year-old had been acting like a CRAZY person! A little while later that 3-year-old came up to me and in her sweet voice said, "Mom, I not a crazy person." Ahh! I had no idea she’d heard me call her that! I felt so bad. I vowed to be more careful how I talked about my kids to others (even if she WAS being crazy-- I could have said “spirited,” maybe “extremely passionate,” ha!)  There's power in LABELS. There's connotation in NAMES. Two years ago, President Nelson gave the talk "The Correct Name of the Church” & I remember thinking MIC DROP! at the end. I loved being Mormon! I loved being LDS! But I LOVE being a member of The Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-Day Saints even more. He said "Responses to this statement... have been mixed. Many members immediately corrected the name of the Church on their blogs and social media pages. Others wondered why, with all that's goin...

Years ago when my daughter was just learning soccer, we’d shout from the sidelines, “Get the ball! Take the ball! Kick the ball!” and it just wasn’t clicking. Then, after a couple games, she scored her first goal! She ran up to me and said with enlightenment, “Mom. Soccer games are NOT about being nice!” 😂 I get what she meant, but that’s not quite the lesson we wanted to teach! There’s always room for being nice. I’ve seen both good & bad sportsmanship watching kid sports! But it never fails- when a player gets injured on the field, ALL the other players from both teams “take a knee.” And when the fallen player gets back up, either to continue the game or sit on the sidelines, everyone applauds! We all get knocked down. We get bumped & bruised. We have mistakes & failures. Don’t we all deserve concern & respect in vulnerable times? Don’t we all deserve support & encouragement when we get back up? The words of Isaiah in 3 Ne. 22 are some of my absolute favorites. “...

“There’s a call that comes to you and me...” The old seminary song “The Olive Tree” came to my head last night. And as I reviewed the words of the song I played again and again as a teenager in seminary not cause I understood it necessarily but because it “sounded pretty,” it hit me like a ton of bricks! THIS is NOW. The allegory of the olive tree finale is NOW! “Thou art called to prune my vineyard with a mighty pruning, yea, even for the last time.” D&C 24:19 This is what President Nelson has been trying to tell us!  This is not just about missionaries with name tags, or spending hours in the family history center, or attending the temple. I love how Pres. Nelson clarified in simple terms that gathering Israel is building faith! It’s helping others make and keep their covenants! It’s being willing to speak the name of Christ! It’s seeing everyone as a child of God & loving them as such! Yes, that’s a lot of exclamation points, but as I read a bunch of scriptures on gather...

There was no bread. The first time Christ administered the sacrament to the Nephites, He commanded his disciples to go and get some bread and wine. (3 Ne. 18:1) So they did. I imagine they went quickly and grabbed the best bread they had! But the second time, no one brought any!  “Now, there had been no bread, neither wine, brought by the disciples, neither by the multitude” (20:6) Did the disciples look at each other and say, “Oh no! Why didn’t we think to bring bread?!” No matter the reason, there was a lack. And somehow, someway, Jesus produced bread.  “But he truly gave unto them bread to eat, and also wine to drink.” (7) Christ KNOWS how to get bread- He fed 5000 people with only 5 loaves and 2 fishes & had 12 baskets left over! The Lord also said to Moses, “I will rain bread from heaven for you” (Ex. 16:4) and the people ate manna for days! So if Jesus could make miracle bread, why did He make the disciples go and get some that first time?  Good question! I’ve t...

We were SO excited to take our kids to Disneyland. I read article after article on preparing for that day. I packed the bag with ALL the essentials. We got up early, ensured the kids looked cute for the billions of pictures to be taken, loaded everyone up, and drove the 20 minutes from our hotel. We parked, got the stroller loaded, down the elevator, and out to the shuttles. We were so close! We’d done so well! And then I noticed one of my sons wasn’t wearing shoes. How did I miss that! I asked WHERE ARE YOUR SHOES?? He looked down, surprised, and said sheepishly, Oh, I just forgot. Yep. Forgot to put on shoes. To go to DISNEYLAND. Where shoes are KINDA important. We ended up buying him $40 Mickey Mouse Crocs at Downtown Disney, the CHEAPEST shoes we could find. 😂 In the hustle and bustle of life, I take care of a lot of things. But I’m guilty of something way too often... forgetting to pray. THERE. I SAID IT. Way too often I sheepishly look down and say, oh yeah, I forgot. Now before...

These chapters in 3rd Nephi are some of THE most beautiful! THIS is Jesus Christ! His compassion, His teachings, his personal ministering to the One, & His prayers to the Father! Yes, the scriptures give us snapshots of utter evil and darkness- and it’s recorded for a reason. These are the last days. We can relate, learn, & prepare. But the scriptures also give us glimpses into the extraordinary light and goodness of the gospel, & what it will be like when Christ comes again. Christ IS coming again! We HAVE this account of Christ’s visit to the Americas because “the multitude did see and hear and bear record” 3 Ne. 17:25 That phrase, “they did bear record,” is in these chapters AGAIN and AGAIN in one form or another! -They did bear record when Christ prayed to the Father for them They did bear record when Jesus wept They did bear record when angels encircled them They did bear record when Christ ascended into heaven They did bear record when the disciples received the Holy ...

He tarried longer. He had important things to do- see the Father, visit the lost tribes of Israel... and He had already given so much. But he saw their tears, and sensed their longing for Him to stay. So He did. He was filled with compassion. He healed the sick and afflicted, every one. He blessed each child. And He knelt upon the ground with them and prayed for them. “And no tongue can speak, neither can there be written by any man, neither can the hearts of men conceive so great and marvelous things as we both saw and heard Jesus speak; and no one can conceive of the joy which filled our souls at the time we heard him pray for us unto the Father." (3 Ne. 17:15-17) They heard Him pray FOR THEM.  I can’t imagine. It could not even be written! So great was their joy, "they were overcome." (18) Last night I was so frustrated with my 10-year-old. She was angry and moody. Girl’s got some pre-teen hormones raging and right before bedtime is when her worries & emotions all...

Since we weren’t able to have an “official” tour of the Sacred Grove when we walked the grounds a few weeks ago, we signed up for a virtual tour last week! I’ve been there twice and had the “tour,” so I knew this would be great for the kids to hear stories and see inside the Smith homes. In my mind, this Zoom call was mainly for THE KIDS. What I didn’t expect was the Spirit hitting me like a TON of bricks as I listened to the missionaries testify. I was in tears! I feel it again right now as I write this.  I’d had a beautiful experience at the grove a few weeks ago. I love that sacred place! But, Isn’t it interesting that the Spirit was JUST as powerful, if not MORE, sitting in my living room watching a computer screen of the Sacred Grove as actually sitting IN the Sacred Grove?  I keep thinking about this! Pure testimony invites the Holy Ghost, and the Holy Ghost testifies of truth. He can testify of truth no matter where we are, what we have seen, or HAVEN’T seen with our ow...

Every single night for like a year now my littlest boy tells me, “I love you to the infinitieth power every day at every time." Then yesterday he came home from school with it written on the back of a worksheet. ❤️ I don't know where he got this saying, or where he learned the infinity symbol, but it is the sweetest! I mean, you can't really top the infinitieth power. This same kid also informed me awhile ago, “If you ever kicked me out of the house, I wouldn't run away from you, mom. I'd just stay on the front porch." 😂 I mean, I’m not PLANNING on kicking anyone out, but good to know!  Can you tell he’s kind of a mama’s boy? You know who else stays on the front porch after we kick Him out? The One who was born in a stable because there was no room for Him at the inn. The One who was mocked, scorned, humiliated, accused, betrayed, scourged, abused, put to death. The One who taught LOVE, even your enemies. The One whose message was and is rejected throughout h...

One time I was at my son’s baseball game with five little kids. The game had just ended when a gigantic hailstorm hit. I ushered the kids under the ledge of a nearby building where we huddled until it let up. I thought, maybe we can make a run for it to the van. So off we raced toward the parking lot, which now seemed MILES away.  No sooner had we started our little jaunt when the charcoal sky burst open again, worse than before. It was CHAOS! I was like, do we turn back?! NO no no, we are too far out now, just gotta keep going! We're getting more drenched every second, I'm running with a 2-year-old in my arms while trying to herd 4 other bodies, and they are all SCREAMING THEIR HEADS OFF as thunder shakes the ground and hail pelts us in the face, and the van is still SO FAR AWAY! I’m yelling over the noise, “Come on! Just follow me! Keep following me!!” We FINALLY made it to the van, the kids scrambled into their seats in RECORD time, and I slammed the doors shut. The kids are...

  The phrase “Lift up your head” has been running through my mind all week. With their faith and their very lives at stake, Nephi was “exceedingly sorrowful” and “cried mightily to the Lord” 3 Ne 1:10,12) And then, a voice: “Lift up your head and be of good cheer; for behold, the time is at hand, and on this night shall the sign be given, and on the morrow come I into the world” (13) I wish I could see Nephi’s reaction! Did he shout for joy? Did he cry with gratitude? Did his heart race at the reality that the Savior was about to be born? Did he run to reassure the believers that everything would be all right? Did he think, I’ve been waiting my whole life for this! Did he say to himself, I KNEW IT! I KNEW He would come! We’ve all looked down in sorrow. We’ve all carried heavy burdens. Maybe it’s weakness, shame, guilt. Maybe we feel unloved. Doubt. Fear. Anger. Powerless. Disappointed. Stuck. Confused. Twisted inside out in this upside down world. Darkness. So many reasons to look ...

I was in 10th grade when I realized I was practically blind. Squinting at the board was my first clue, but I was shocked when I stood in front of the eye chart in driver’s ed! No amount of squinting would turn those fuzzy black blobs into letters!  The day I finally got glasses was MAGICAL! I walked in having NO IDEA what I was missing out on. I walked out looking at a WHOLE. NEW. WORLD. A world that was 3-D and full of vibrant color! A world where leaves, grass, and carpet had texture! A world where I could see who people were in the school hallways, and stop signs while driving!🙌🏼 I couldn’t believe I’d lived so long thinking the way I saw was good enough! Once things were clear, I was not going back. The Nephites saw many great wonders, signs, and miracles surrounding the Savior’s birth. The prophesies were true! They were “astonished” and “the more part of the people did believe” 3 Ne. 1 They saw! But after awhile “the people began to forget those signs and wonders which they...

 Last night I was talking to my baby— my 6-year-old baby— and I was noticing how much he’s grown. And I told him, “Aw, you look SO grown up! You’re not my baby, you’re a little boy! You’re so handsome!” To which he matter-of-factly replied, “Yeah, but I still pick my nose.” 😂 Well, way to remind me he’s not THAT grown up yet...  It’s good to acknowledge how far we’ve come! But it’s also good to recognize the things we need to work on. I’m really good at recognizing what I need to work on.  In fact, one small self doubt often spirals into many and soon I’m feeling like a failure at EVERYTHING. I think Satan grabs at the smallest opportunities to dig at us, like when a kid fiddles with a tiny tear in their pants and it soon turns into a giant gaping hole and you have to throw those pants away (true story). He just finds the weakest link, the tiniest flaw, and then eats at you and eats at you until that hole gets bigger and bigger and you feel like the worst person ever. I ...

I used to be in a biker gang. Yep. Only with less leather and more spandex. Less jackets with skulls and more jerseys with handy back pockets. And chains! Oh, not THOSE kinda chains. Okay, it was more of a group of women cyclists. But biker gang sounds better. Those were good times. We’d train as soon as the weather was warm enough, and one of the best parts of riding was the scenery we’d see along the way. It never got old! Every time we saw something cool we’d shout “NATURE!” bringing it to everyone’s attention in a split second, and together we’d marvel at animals like we were in a National Geographic magazine. It’s fun to share things that make you happy. My daughter got phase 1 braces and a palate expander at age 7 last year for a BAD cross bite. It’s a lot of metal for a little girl! She had the HARDEST time adjusting! While she eventually learned how to eat again, it hasn’t been too fun. Well, we just found out she gets her braces off TOMORROW! You know what she did? She ran aro...

There was a time in my life where I could not comprehend life without babies and toddlers. And as exhausted as I was, the thought of the next stage of life scared me. I’d think, “HOW can I live in a world where things aren’t solved with timeouts and hugs? Where forgiveness doesn’t come easily, where consequences aren’t simply ‘no popsicles today!’ Will they trust me and love me like they do now? Will they believe in themselves the way they do now?” I KNEW how to parent little ones. What happened when they turned into, like, PEOPLE?! Well, guess what, I have people now. BUT, you know what? This stage of life is kinda awesome. Getting to KNOW them, their interests, their fears, their successes, their failures, their sense of humor, their dreams. They’re PRETTY GREAT people. With a lot less jam on their hands. Now they all start school tomorrow. Three different schools. Three different buses. 36 glue sticks and like 100 masks. We moved in right before the shutdown, so some are really nerv...

After some SERIOUS strategy, Moroni successfully tricks, traps, and surrounds the Lamanites. And then, don’t you love that Moroni gives credit where credit is due?? “The Lord is with us; and ye behold that he has delivered you into our hands. And now I would that ye should understand that this is done unto us because of our religion and our faith in Christ.” Alma 44:3 He recognizes God’s hand. And boldly declares it to Zarahemna. To which Zarahemna replies, “We do not believe that it is God that has delivered us into your hands; but we believe that it is your cunning that has preserved you from our swords. Behold, it is your breastplates and your shields that have preserved you.” And wouldn’t it have been easy for Moroni to say that, too? Like riiight... I WAS pretty smart there, and we did have WAY more armor than you. Hmm... But he doesn’t. He gives thanks to God. He knows how he got to where he is. There will always be someone who scoffs at faith. There will always be someone who te...

Three years ago my husband’s brother lost his battle with cancer, leaving a huge hole in our hearts. Watching my husband mourn his best friend, his hero, was painful to witness. My husband is so much of who he is because of his amazing big brother. We will see him again. ❤️ We are taught about resurrection since we are in nursery! I have early memories of the good old glove analogy. It’s second nature to us. However, when Christ’s apostles found the empty tomb, “they were much perplexed.” (Luke 24) Christ had told them what would happen, but it was such a new, out-of-this-world idea, they did not understand. Even when Mary and other women told them he was risen, “their words seemed to them as idle tales, and they believed them not.” Peter went to the sepulcher and “wondered in himself” at what happened. And then when Christ himself showed up, “their eyes were holden that they should not know him.” They proceeded to hang out with him, abided with him, and still... didn’t know who he was...

I just had a post all written and it just now got erased!!! Dang. And since I’m running out of time to post today and I don’t want to lose my streak already, I’ll just say: I love my Savior, Jesus Christ. Like I heard Elder Holland say so powerfully and earnestly in a training meeting, standing at the front of the same room I was in, “I did not give my life to a fairy tale.” It’s not a fairy tale to me. It’s not a myth. Jesus Christ is the Son of God. He is my Redeemer. There is an eternal plan. We are children of God. I can feel it. And it makes me happy.