Write at the Heart

  My 10th grade son wrote this for his seminary devotional & I loved it. I am sharing his words here❤️ “We love him, because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19) I love this verse, it’s short, but what it teaches is amazing. God has always loved us & always will. This makes me think of a quote by Pres. Monson, “Your Heavenly Father loves you-each of you… That love never changes… It is there for you when you are sad or happy, discouraged or hopeful. God’s love is there for you whether or not you feel you deserve [it]. It is simply always there.” I love this quote. God loves us no matter what. He loves us beyond measure & more than we can comprehend. Everything God does is motivated out of love. We are here because he loves us. We have the church, prophets, scriptures, & commandments all because he loves us. This week, the holy week has the greatest manifestation of his love, where Jesus did what no one else could do in the Garden of Gethsemane. He experienced all the pai...

  A couple days ago I sat in the dentist chair for my 6-month cleaning. Here we go again! There’s nothing quite like opening up your mouth & letting someone dig around in there! What does she see that I don’t? Have I brushed enough? Flossed enough? 😬 How am I doing?! Coulda done better… but I’d like to think I try my best! Weirdly enough, as I sat there I thought- this feels kinda good! All the scraping & digging & spraying & sucking & brushing & flossing… I mean, some of it was uncomfortable… some of it downright hurt… but knowing she was deep cleaning & reaching parts I couldn’t felt oddly satisfying. I knew the pain was productive. I left feeling clean, bright, shiny, new, & resolved to floss more & get in those hard-to-reach spots she warned me about.👍 *** A couple days ago I sat on the couch for my 6-month spiritual high- general conference! ❤️ Here we go again! There’s nothing quite like opening up your soul & letting the Spirit dig a...

  We started the 24-hour drive 😅 to Utah last weekend to visit family for spring break. Six hours in we hit a huge snowstorm in Illinois. It was the middle of the night. We scrambled to find a hotel on the map, & each minute we crept forward until we got there was TERRIFYING!! I was never so relieved to see a Comfort Inn! We came in from the blizzard (squeezed our family of 8 into the very last room available) &, traumatized, evaluated the routes to Utah. Every one had severe weather warnings. We had a decision to make, & after much evaluation & prayer, we decided that driving 18+ more hours wasn’t worth the risk. We sadly, but resolutely, drove back to Ohio. Once we were home, my 14-year-old son thoughtfully told me, “Mom, before we left we prayed we would have a safe trip. Maybe that’s why we came back.” Maybe so ❤️ It was not what we expected, but our way forward was… backward. Safe from the storm. This week as I read about Jesus sending his apostles on a ship w...

My husband prepared to put his hands on her head. He asked our daughter what she felt she needed. She softly said, “Strength. Courage. Determination.” And, “Not to be afraid.” — Books I never thought I’d read rest on my nightstand. Screenshots of websites I never expected I’d Google are saved on my phone. Posts from support groups I never imagined I’d join fill my social media. And strange acronyms have made their way into my everyday vocabulary. ED, AN, FBT, WR++, OCD, CBT, ERP… ERP- exposure & response prevention- is the gold standard for treating obsessive compulsive disorder- which, spoiler alert! is NOT about being clean & organized! I had NO idea how debilitating & horrible & misunderstood it can be. ERP deliberately exposes someone to the very fears that are causing their intrusive thoughts in order for them to practice resisting the compulsions/rituals they’ve developed to cope with those thoughts. Though this therapy of invoking terror/anxiety feels counter-int...

  I had it out with God the other day. My patience is waning, & while I recognize others go through much worse things, I am growing weary of this storm & want to wallow & cower at the injustice of it all. And in my own tempest-tossed boat, aka the bathroom floor, I essentially cried out, “Carest thou not that we perish??” To the apostles onboard, He asked, “Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith?” (Matt. 8:26) And I’m like, WHY are they FEARFUL? They’re in the middle of a huge scary storm! They personally knew Jesus, believed in Him, saw what He could do, & they were still afraid. I know He rebukes the waves & brings calm to the seas in our lives. I have seen it. But sometimes in the midst of the storm, it’s SO hard to remember that. And I just feel so afraid. Watching my bright, sweet, bubbly, good, brave child go from one mental illness straight into another has brought unbelievable pain & fear. I could never have understood what others go through until ...

Recently I felt my child & I were coming to the end of a very difficult road. I felt relief & happiness as I thought of how far we’ve come. I was like, I think we are on the other side of this trial now! God answers prayers! But instead of finding the end of that road, I realized we were at the bottom of a ginormous hill. Um, WHAT. And I took my figurative “book of parenting” & THREW IT OUT THE WINDOW cause this new obstacle is unlike anything I’ve experienced as a mom & I’m coming up empty on how to help my child climb this thing. She is distraught. And my heart aches. What about the prayers? We plead for healing, & we read of Christ healing fevers, diseases, lepers, casting out demons. His power is real. I believe this. But… when is her time? Why bother praying & praying for something when we know it will just be done in His time, anyway? What's the point? I don't have all the answers. I do know prayers turn us to Him. And what other answer do I need? ...

Ah, Simeon, how long did he wait? God made him a promise, & he waited for that promise. More importantly, he prepared for that promise. And at the right time, the Spirit led him to the right place for it to be fulfilled- the temple. There He was- the baby Jesus. “Then took he him up in his arms, & blessed God, & said, Lord, now lettest thou thy servant depart in peace, according to thy word: For mine eyes have seen thy salvation” (Luke 2:28-30) What an amazing moment for Simeon! Everything he waited for became real. I didn’t get to cradle Him in my arms. But maybe I don’t need to wait to see “thy salvation.” There is a beautiful little Christmas song by The National Parks called “Far Away” that has run through my head the last few weeks. The chorus goes: “‘Cause far away Is born a little child Far away The Savior of Mankind The Prince of Peace, The King of Kings born in a manger Far away Seems a little closer today” Far away. Yes, that’s how I feel sometimes. All the script...