Write at the Heart

Have you ever had ongoing struggles with something, despite your efforts, and you’re like, am I just not PRAYING hard enough?! I wonder if Nephi had similar thoughts as he walked to his home, “much cast down.” He’d tried and tried to get people to listen without much success. Did he think, maybe I'm just not a good missionary anymore? Where are the angels, the hundreds of converts? It happened before, so where is it now? Maybe I've just lost it! Am I doing something wrong? Or maybe he was doing everything right, and the Lord’s definition of success is different than ours. During Nephi’s pondering, God tells him, “Blessed art thou, Nephi, for those things which thou hast done; for I have beheld how thou hast with unwearyingness declared the word... thou hast not feared them, and hast not sought thine own life, but hast sought my will, and to keep my commandments" Hel. 10:4 “I have beheld”! I SEE YOU. I SEE what you've done. I SEE that you're trying! I KNOW YOU. You’

Seeing is believing.  Isn’t it?   As Nephi preaches to the people and prophesies about the murder of the chief judge, we have three kinds of people: -Those who believed without seeing. They knew all of Nephi’s words were true. -Those who believed only after seeing with their own eyes Nephi’s prophesy was, indeed, true. -Those who never believed, even after seeing. “Notwithstanding that great miracle which Nephi had done in telling them concerning the death of the chief judge, they did harden their hearts and did not hearken unto the words of the Lord." We see these types of people, don’t we? -People with amazing faith, who believe and follow the prophet, the scriptures, the Spirit, without question. They act in complete faith. They simply believe, and this exercise of faith allows them to “see.” -People who wonder and doubt, who need to see some things with their own eyes. Who say IF this, THEN I will believe. And they do! -People who, “notwithstanding so many evidences which ye h

During the long drive to our new home in January, we stopped briefly in Nauvoo. My husband and I were immediately struck by the feeling in that place! The spirit of Nauvoo is incredibly special, tangible, sacred. I felt encircled by the past and the people who lived there. Their whispers, their strength, their sorrow, their faith.  I felt the Saints there. I think it’s interesting that as Nephi is lamenting about the wickedness happening around him, he reflects on the faith of his ancestors. “Oh, that I could have had my days in the days when my father Nephi first came out of the land of Jerusalem, that I could have joyed with him in the promised land... Yea, if my days could have been in those days, then would my soul have had joy in the righteousness of my brethren.” Hel. 7 Along with his namesakes, he talks of Moses, Abraham, Zenos, and more, testifying and rejoicing in Christ. He longs to rejoice with them. It’s special to rejoice with others who share your beliefs. That kind of bo

There was a time in my life where I could not comprehend life without babies and toddlers. And as exhausted as I was, the thought of the next stage of life scared me. I’d think, “HOW can I live in a world where things aren’t solved with timeouts and hugs? Where forgiveness doesn’t come easily, where consequences aren’t simply ‘no popsicles today!’ Will they trust me and love me like they do now? Will they believe in themselves the way they do now?” I KNEW how to parent little ones. What happened when they turned into, like, PEOPLE?! Well, guess what, I have people now. BUT, you know what? This stage of life is kinda awesome. Getting to KNOW them, their interests, their fears, their successes, their failures, their sense of humor, their dreams. They’re PRETTY GREAT people. With a lot less jam on their hands. Now they all start school tomorrow. Three different schools. Three different buses. 36 glue sticks and like 100 masks. We moved in right before the shutdown, so some are really nerv

The movie “The Iron Giant” makes me cry. Yep, the animated one about a kid finding a giant alien robot. The robot had lost his memory, so a boy teaches him about life and humans, and the robot is curious, gentle, and friendly. Eventually his memory is triggered when he is attacked by the military. He instinctively converts to what he was actually built for- a weapon of destruction. The boy desperately reminds him that he doesn't have to be that way, “You are who you choose to be!" The robot has to make a choice, and I won’t spoil it for you, but trust me, it gets me every time. And those words ring so true, “You are who you choose to be." I know it's easier said than done. But I do believe we all can choose who we really want to be. We can make excuses and wallow and tell ourselves it just isn't possible, that it's too hard, or not in our programming. But what kind of life would it be if we didn't have that choice? No matter where we came from, there is no

We visited Niagara Falls a couple weeks ago. Everyone was excited except my 6-year-old, who sobbed on the way there! Poor kid was still traumatized by our canoe incident a few weeks ago (it tipped & he fell out). So when he found out we were going on a boat, he was terrified. After a million questions (does the boat go fast? Does the boat go down a waterfall? Is the water deep?) we calmed him down. He bravely stepped on the boat and LOVED it all, afterwards declaring that it was “the best thing I’ve done in this world!” Niagara Falls is incredible! It’s an adrenaline rush just standing next to it! You can’t help but feel awe at its power. Funny how water can be feared and awed, a source of destruction and power. Did you know the power plants at Niagara Falls have the capacity to output 4.9 million kilowatts of electricity- the ability to power 3.8 million homes?! As a child, Nikola Tesla imagined harnessing the power of Niagara Falls. His dream came true when he designed the first

Let’s talk about hearts! One of my favorite topics! Pride was creeping “into the hearts of the people who professed to belong to the church of God” Hel 3:33 They began persecuting other members of the church. “Nevertheless,” those being persecuted “did fast and pray oft, and did wax stronger and stronger in their humility, and firmer and firmer in the faith of Christ, unto the filling their souls with joy and consolation, yea, even to the purifying and the sanctification of their hearts, which sanctification cometh because of their yielding their hearts unto God.” Isn’t that so beautiful? They were sanctified, or made sacred, through “yielding their hearts unto God.” Like, take my heart! It is in your hands! I will do your will! I know you can make more out of me than I can. I trust you! I’m ready. He has given us so much. What can we give in return other than our hearts? In Helaman 5 it says Nephi “yielded up the judgment seat.” Why would he do that? HUGE fights have erupted over the

Do your ears (er, eyes?) perk up like mine when you read “thus we see” in the scriptures? Like, ooh, here comes the lesson! The moral of the story! I have some good Thus We Sees in my life. Thus we see that chewing gum during your first kiss is a really bad idea. Thus we see that putting slime in the kids’ Easter baskets was also a really bad idea. Ha! But there’s GOOD ones too. Thus we see that the Come Follow Me program was inspired for the year 2020! And THESE Thus We Sees are definitely true for me: Hel. 3:27-30 “THUS WE MAY SEE that the Lord is merciful unto all who will, in the sincerity of their hearts, call upon his holy name. “Yea, THUS WE SEE that the gate of heaven is open unto all, even to those who will believe on the name of Jesus Christ, who is the Son of God. “Yea, WE SEE that whosoever will may lay hold upon the word of God, which is quick and powerful, which shall divide asunder all the cunning and the snares and the wiles of the devil, and lead the man of Christ in a

I sat down at the piano the other day.  I tried to play songs I once knew by heart, and I couldn't quite figure it out.  The thing is, my fingers KNEW it.  They instinctively grabbed for the keys, but one little note would throw me off. And I'm like- you KNEW this, SO WELL at one point.  But when you don't practice... ya get a little rusty. Whenever I sit and play music, I remember why I loved it so much.  I remember how good I once was. It's like a part of my soul is awakened that I’d neglected, nearly forgotten. But if I don't sit and play once in awhile, it quietly starts slipping away. Those songs will always be part of my soul, my memory, because I spent so much of my life in front of a piano, playing with my heart.  It doesn't all get erased.  It can't.  It may be dormant, but it is there.  Etched in my very foundation. We all forget things sometimes. It takes just a few notes to stir the memories.  The emotion.  The desire. With practice it can return

Moroni had EVERY reason to be upset at the lack of governmental support for the Nephite armies. And he took it all out on Pahoran in a scathing letter! Pahoran had EVERY reason to be upset with Moroni after being falsely accused of “neglect," "slothfulness," "idleness," being a "traitor," and “transgress[ing] the laws of God." He was innocent! He'd done NONE of the things Moroni thought he'd done! Moroni had jumped to conclusions, unfairly judged him, and attacked his very character. And yet, Pahoran is NOT upset. WHAT. He doesn't focus on Moroni's huge mistake! He focuses on Moroni's HEART. "Now, in your epistle you have censured me, but it mattereth not; I am not angry, but do rejoice in the greatness of your heart." Alma 61:9 The greatness of his heart! ❤️ It brings me to tears. Instead of bitterness, resentment, and division, Pahoran chooses understanding, forgiveness, and unity. "My beloved brother, Moroni,

My mom began running marathons when I was 16. I thought she was a little crazy. She is the most dedicated, consistent, motivated, optimistic person I know! Well, her positive energy was contagious and 4 years later I started running with her. I trained for my first marathon, my mom with me every step of the way! It was amazing to see what I was capable of. I would have NEVER believed I could be a runner, let alone run marathons, if my mom hadn’t believed in me. Over the next few years we ran some marathons together, but she would proceed to run 24 marathons!!! Between having a bunch of babies, half marathons became more my thing! Two years ago she signed up for her 25th and final marathon. She always wanted to make it to 25! And although I hadn’t run a full marathon in years, I signed up too! I went into the race feeling pretty good! I even had hopes I could PR! Well, a nice dose of humility was in store for me. The marathon went horribly! It was a nightmare that wouldn’t end. I was SO

When my husband’s brother passed away, we spent the day at the hospital saying goodbye, mourning with family, crying all the tears we could shed, and trying to process our grief. He was gone. We went home to our devastated children with swollen eyes and heavy hearts. And an empty kitchen. I hadn’t done grocery shopping and it was now Saturday evening. Exhausted, I prepared to head to the store. Then a knock came at the door. Dinner. And another knock, some groceries, “just to get you by the next couple days.” I cried. Over the next few days, more kindness, more angels. Every little thought lifted us. Despite the pain, we were in a pocket of love. People mourned with us, comforted us, strengthened us. They shared our burden. Brought us hope. We all know the story of the army of Helaman. But what about the army of Antipus? When Helaman found them, “they were depressed in body as well as in spirit, for they had fought valiantly by day and toiled by night to maintain their cities; and thus

When Amalickiah finally goes down, aren’t you like, hallelujah, that guy was the WORST! And then you remember that his brother Ammoron succeeds him as king and is just as awful. Dang! Moroni is FED UP with the Lamanites and their lies, and it definitely shows in his attempt to negotiate with Ammoron about exchanging prisoners. YOU TELL HIM, MORONI! Yeah, he’s not one to beat around the bush. “I would tell you somewhat concerning the justice of God...if ye were capable of hearkening unto them; yea, I would tell you concerning that awful hell that awaits to receive such murderers as thou and thy brother have been, except ye repent... But as ye have once rejected these things, and have fought against the people of the Lord, even so I may expect you will do it again.” Like, I am TIRED of trying to help you guys turn to God- you don’t listen anyway! “But behold, it supposeth me that I talk to you concerning these things in vain; or it supposeth me that thou art a child of hell” Let me tell

My husband and I visited some church history sites a few years ago and have been wanting to take the kids. So when we heard that you’re now able to walk the grounds of some sites even though tours and visitor’s centers are still closed, we made it happen! We visited the Sacred Grove at dawn today, walking the paths as the sun poked through the trees, and then stopping to pray and think. I loved sharing this holy, peaceful place with my kids! So much of who I am hinges on what happened here 200 years ago, as God the Father and His Son appeared to an earnest 14-year-old. And now that I have a 14-year-old, it really puts it into perspective. We also visited the Hill Cumorah where I had a really beautiful experience. I felt so close to God, and had the thought to read some of Moroni’s last words before sealing up the plates. I felt such a connection to him, sitting on the very hill he buried the plates he had abridged and preserved. The very hill where ALL but 24 of the Nephites, Moroni’s

Last week while camping, I was hugging my daughter and felt a little bump on her shoulder. You know what I found? A TICK! Ahh!! I had never seen one in my entire life! After some SLIGHT panicking and some quick Googling, we found some tweezers. I then proceeded to pull that thing out of my daughter’s skin. It took three tries, but I got it! Now we just have to wait and see if she develops any symptoms of Lyme disease in the next 30 days. So that’s great. I think of that tick and find it interesting my daughter didn’t even feel it. It was sucking her blood, FEEDING on her, and yet, she had NO idea. How lucky that I happened to feel it! Otherwise, it could have fed on her for up to 10 days! Reading about ticks just creeps me out. They’re incredibly resilient. And they do something called “questing,” where they basically lie in wait, clinging to leaves and grass with their back legs while stretching out their front legs, just waiting to grab onto a host! AND their saliva also has anti-inf

  The war chapters remind me of the world today. WHOSE TEAM DO I WANT TO BE ON? TEAM 1: Amalickiah, “he being a very subtle man to do evil.” TEAM 2: “This was the faith of Moroni, and his heart did glory in it... in doing good, in preserving his people, yea, in keeping the commandments of God.” TEAM 1: Amalickiah “did inspire their hearts against the Nephites.” He “hardened the hearts of the Lamanites and blinded their minds, and stirred them up to anger.” He desired to “dethrone the king and take possession of the kingdom.” TEAM 2: Moroni “inspired their hearts with these thoughts—their lands, their liberty, yea, their freedom from bondage.” “They were not fighting for monarchy nor power but they were fighting for their homes and their liberties, their wives and their children.” TEAM 1: Amalickiah “was a man of cunning device and a man of many flattering words, that he led away the hearts of many people to do wickedly; yea, and to seek to destroy the church of God, and to destroy the

After some SERIOUS strategy, Moroni successfully tricks, traps, and surrounds the Lamanites. And then, don’t you love that Moroni gives credit where credit is due?? “The Lord is with us; and ye behold that he has delivered you into our hands. And now I would that ye should understand that this is done unto us because of our religion and our faith in Christ.” Alma 44:3 He recognizes God’s hand. And boldly declares it to Zarahemna. To which Zarahemna replies, “We do not believe that it is God that has delivered us into your hands; but we believe that it is your cunning that has preserved you from our swords. Behold, it is your breastplates and your shields that have preserved you.” And wouldn’t it have been easy for Moroni to say that, too? Like riiight... I WAS pretty smart there, and we did have WAY more armor than you. Hmm... But he doesn’t. He gives thanks to God. He knows how he got to where he is. There will always be someone who scoffs at faith. There will always be someone who te

Captain Moroni! Love him! He had prepared his army with arm-shields, breastplates, head-shields, and thick clothing. The army of Zarahemna... had NOT. They had weapons, but were “naked, save it were a skin which was girded about their loins.” When they saw the Nephites, “they were exceedingly afraid of the armies of the Nephites because of their armor, notwithstanding their number being so much greater than the Nephites.” Alma 43 Isn’t that interesting? They had “more than double the number of the Nephites“ and yet THEY were afraid. Why? Because the Nephites had ARMOR. At times I feel like Satan is WINNING this world. Wickedness is everywhere. The works of darkness aren’t even in the dark- they’re obvious! It feels overpowering. It’s TOO MUCH. But guess what? We are IN IT. “Brothers and sisters, we are at war with Satan for the souls of men.” Rasband BUT- “It is a war we can and will win.” Pres Monson We have the BEST kind of armor. And even though our numbers can feel few in compariso

A few years ago while visiting San Antonio we went to see the temple. As we drove into the parking lot, we gave the kids a simple little talk about the importance of the temple. Suddenly I felt a distinct rush of emotion, of reassurance, of comfort, of peace, of truth. I couldn't hold back the tears. This is often the way the spirit confirms truth to me, and I've learned to recognize it. When I am in the right state of mind, I get these flashes of complete light and understanding. Everything makes sense. It is a powerful manifestation to me saying this is true. It is these moments that I try to write down. And I did. It's so easy to forget. It's so easy to look back and rationalize our feelings and think maybe we made them up, that maybe the spirit was just our own brain, a psychological fabrication to make us feel better. But gosh, those moments when I feel the witness of the Holy Ghost... it is as real as my hand in front of my face. I can't deny it. It's hard

We found some natural sandstone water slides during our camping trip this weekend. What an adrenaline rush! But, as they say, it’s all fun and games until someone dislocates a finger. My husband came out of the water and really freaked the kids out with his crooked, bloody finger. OH, AND ME. It was pretty grotesque. After an x-ray determined it was NOT broken (whew), the doctor took his finger and gave it a nice, big YANK. And boom, just like that, his crooked finger was made straight. What’s funny is his pain level was actually pretty tolerable BEFORE the yanking of the finger. BUT- it was inevitable... It had to be fixed. To realign the bone, to promote function, to bring healing, Great pain was required. We might think we are “okay.” The pain is manageable. Maybe we don’t even need a doctor? We can live with it. But if nothing is done, proper healing cannot take place. Sometimes fixing what is broken is an EXCRUCIATING process. But in the whole scheme of things, one excruciating mo

We are on day 3 of camping, which is pretty big for us “non-campers.” (We love the outdoors, but are more... cabin people? AirBNB people?) But we are doing it! We are proving to ourselves we CAN be campers, we CAN! However, the first night we got here, it was POURING rain. And THEN when we tried to set up our tent, we realized a pole was broken! Like, when you go camping, isn’t the tent a pretty important part?! We proceeded to jimmy-rig it and hoped for the best! To our frustration, the tent collapsed like three times as we were setting up camp. Yeah. And that night as I listened to it rain, I was like, PLEASE let us just make it through the night without the tent collapsing on us!!! And we did. The tent STOOD. I think it hung on, just for us. Cause then it collapsed again that morning. But our tent had done exactly what it was supposed to do. Did it look great? No. It looked like a sad, droopy, deformed thing. But did it do the one thing I asked it to do? The one thing it was meant t

Three years ago my husband’s brother lost his battle with cancer, leaving a huge hole in our hearts. Watching my husband mourn his best friend, his hero, was painful to witness. My husband is so much of who he is because of his amazing big brother. We will see him again. ❤️ We are taught about resurrection since we are in nursery! I have early memories of the good old glove analogy. It’s second nature to us. However, when Christ’s apostles found the empty tomb, “they were much perplexed.” (Luke 24) Christ had told them what would happen, but it was such a new, out-of-this-world idea, they did not understand. Even when Mary and other women told them he was risen, “their words seemed to them as idle tales, and they believed them not.” Peter went to the sepulcher and “wondered in himself” at what happened. And then when Christ himself showed up, “their eyes were holden that they should not know him.” They proceeded to hang out with him, abided with him, and still... didn’t know who he was

I’m sitting here past midnight with a massive migraine. And the one thought I had to write about today was, ironically, the phrase “endless night.” “These are they that are redeemed of the Lord; yea, these are they that are taken out, that are delivered from that endless night of darkness...” Alma 41:7 It’s feeling like an endless night. Luckily, I know this will pass. With the right combination of medication and caffeine.  That phrase, “endless night,” reminded me of “The Lion King” on Broadway, which I got to see last year. There is a song in the play that’s actually called “Endless Night.” Its beautiful message really impacted me, and I listened to it a lot for awhile (just ask my kids). In that song, Simba is mourning his father, and he pleads, “Where has the starlight gone? Dark is the day How can I find my way home? Home is an empty dream Lost to the night Father, I feel so alone You promised you'd be there Whenever I needed you Whenever I call your name You're not anywhe

A few months ago we were getting ready to embark on a three-day journey to our new home. As we emptied every last thing out of the house we’d lived in for the last 12 years, we stood in our garage full of stuff, exhausted, emotional, and desperately trying to fit all that stuff into our two vehicles, along with six kids, and the cat. We then realized something. We’d made a huge mistake! A week earlier we had to decide what stayed with us in the house until our day of departure and what went onto the moving truck. Guess what, we left WAY TOO MUCH behind, giving us no choice but to weed out the things that weren’t important enough to take with us. We threw a nice big pile to the side of the house, and my SWEET SWEET parents took care of it the next day! “Seek not after riches nor the vain things of this world; for behold, you cannot carry them with you.” Alma 39:14 We COULD NOT carry them with us! But we MADE SURE we carried what was MOST important. I love the Lord’s words to Emma: “Lay

I just had a post all written and it just now got erased!!! Dang. And since I’m running out of time to post today and I don’t want to lose my streak already, I’ll just say: I love my Savior, Jesus Christ. Like I heard Elder Holland say so powerfully and earnestly in a training meeting, standing at the front of the same room I was in, “I did not give my life to a fairy tale.” It’s not a fairy tale to me. It’s not a myth. Jesus Christ is the Son of God. He is my Redeemer. There is an eternal plan. We are children of God. I can feel it. And it makes me happy.

Well, it was back to church today after many months! I’ve actually loved home church. But being at church again, gathered with just a few members, was beautiful, and I found myself getting emotional during the sacrament, listening to the words of the prayer, renewing my covenant to take upon myself His name, keep the commandments, and remember Him. My cute 13-year-old boy passed the sacrament, and then he gave a great talk on what he learned from the scriptures this week. The meeting was short and sweet, and I have to say, all the kids behaved stupendously. We have come a long way from Cheerios thrown across benches and threatening children out in the foyer. At times I’ve wondered why so many things in the church seem so repetitive. The sacrament, the temple, the talks... we hear the same things again and again. The word “remember” is used hundreds of times in the scriptures, and if there’s a “remember, remember” ooohhh you know you better pay attention. But you know what? It’s cause w

 I love getting a peek at Alma’s counsel to each of his sons, each different, each bearing testimony of divine truths. I feel his love for them! I once heard that kids aren't really a lump of clay that you mold into whatever you want... they are more like seeds. But they don’t come inside a packet with a picture telling you exactly what they are and exactly what they need. It’s only as you care for them that you start to see what is growing— you start to see what you’ve gotten yourself into, ha! Then you cater to what that specific plant needs- some need more sun... some need certain soil... Nurture plays a lot into our personalities... but so does nature! As I read old journal entries, I am amazed that years later my kids have sooo many traits they had as babies and toddlers. They are not blank slates! They come with their own set of unique attributes! It’s been fascinating to watch. Of course, I can guide them and help them grow the best way I know how, but what works for one kid

Yesterday my husband taught my 8-year-old daughter to float on her back while kicking her legs. She was SO proud of herself and shouted at me in glee to watch! She had never dared try this without floaties before. Well, after a minute or two of showing me her new skill, a boat whizzed behind her, sending ripples of water towards the shore. Not realizing what was happening, her back to the coming waves, my daughter leaned back into floating position, just like she’d been doing, and to her utter surprise a wave washed over her head. She came up sputtering, immediately crying in terror and indignation. Coming to me, she sobbed, “I want to go home!!” My husband and I comforted and reassured her that we were right there to keep her safe. After a minute, she put her floaties back on and headed back into the water. But once she got in again, she started crying again “thinking about what happened to me.” Aw, poor girl! I thought, that’s just too bad that RIGHT AFTER she was brave enough to flo

A few months ago I was having a bad day. I was at the grocery store, grumpy, feeling like a jerk cause of something I said earlier, and just really down in the dumps. I was deep in thought mentally beating myself up when I glanced up. A lady walking down the aisle looked at me, and she smiled. Not a sympathetic, “what is going on with HER” smile. Not a polite smile. Not a “wow, she looks stressed but I just need to get past her to the cereal and I don’t want to make this awkward” smile. It was a warm, kind smile. So much so that my first thought was, “Does she know me?” But I’d never seen her before. I don’t know why she smiled at me. I mean, she could probably tell I was about to burst into tears at any moment, so there’s that. But in that split second that she went out of her way to smile at me, I immediately felt lifted. It was simple. But I felt genuine love and goodness from a stranger. I think a lot of us often feel we are not enough, that our tiny efforts don’t matter, that we c

Three years ago we felt prompted to move, and as time went on those feelings got stronger and stronger. Six months ago we headed off on this new adventure, away from our family, friends, and house of 12 years to a completely unfamiliar place multiple states away. Then two months in, the world went crazy. I could have NEVER predicted the year like this! Just what the kids needed after we ripped them out of their comfort zone, right... Needless to say, it’s been hard for the kids to make friends, and my heart has hurt for them, and many tears have been shed by them and by me, and while they have been so resilient in many ways, sometimes I wonder what we have done! And yet... in my heart I know we are supposed to be here, and have felt God’s reassurance, love, and tender mercies throughout all of this! For one, our family is closer than ever. Watching my kids be each other’s best friends is a beautiful thing, even if it is by default. But friends are important. And there have been two par

In Alma 37, Alma entrusts his son Helaman with the brass plates, also instructing him to keep his own record of the people, and to “keep all these things sacred which I have kept, even as I have kept them; for it is for a wise purpose that they are kept... which purpose is known unto God... that he may show forth his power unto future generations.” Then comes a warning: “If ye transgress the commandments of God, behold, these things which are sacred shall be taken away from you by the power of God, and ye shall be delivered up unto Satan...” And a promise: “But if ye keep the commandments of God, and do with these things which are sacred according to that which the Lord doth command you... behold, no power of earth or hell can take them from you, for God is powerful to the fulfilling of all his words. For he will fulfil all his promises which he shall make unto you, for he has fulfilled his promises which he has made unto our fathers.” I have a lot of thoughts, but the main ones are th

I made peach freezer jam yesterday, and I gotta say, I am feeling pret-ty darn proud of myself! It turned out amazing! Just call me Suzy Homemaker! While I know freezer jam is actually kinda easy, it IS time consuming. The peeling, pitting, lots and lots of stirring, waiting, more stirring, more waiting. My 8-year-old was super excited to help me, and she did some great stirring in the beginning, but after so much she got bored and gave up. But then came the reward for my efforts- delicious jam! I think about the process it took for those peaches to become jam, and I think about Alma the Younger’s amazing conversion. His story is one of my favorites!! I love any story where someone chooses to completely change for the better. “And oh, what joy, and what marvelous light I did behold; yea, my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain! Yea, I say unto you, my son, that there could be nothing so exquisite and so bitter as were my pains. Yea, and again I say unto you, my son, tha

The “more popular” and rich people of the Zoramites cast out the poor for believing Alma and Amulek’s words. The poor were kindly taken in by the people of Jershon- the people of Ammon. When the rich Zoramites found out, they were mad, and sent threats over to the people of Ammon, REALLY wanting THEM to cast out the poor as well. But they didn’t listen. In fact, they did not even fear these threats. They not only received these “outcasts” in their land, but they nourished them, clothed them, provided places for them to live, and administered to them. How beautiful is that! It makes me want to be better! Do I “receive” those who are cast out? Do I minister to them without fearing the repercussions? What sacrifices do I make for the poor? I could do better. A lot better. Amulek’s words are powerful and to the point, “Yea, and when you do not cry unto the Lord, let your hearts be full, drawn out in prayer unto him continually for your welfare, and also for the welfare of those who are aro

I, along with every other parent, am wrestling with what to do with the kids this year for school. I go back and forth, back and forth, and as I seek for answers through prayer, I am frustrated. Why can’t I get like a CLEAR answer for once? Like, BOOM, “Thou shalt do THIS!! THIS is what’s best for your children, THIS path is what I want you to do, and you will NOT ruin your children with THIS PATH!!!” Alas, I’m not hearing that. Sigh. Instead, I’m reading everyone else’s back and forth debates online, trying to get a read of what everyone ELSE is doing... cause I’m kind of a follower. Personal revelation is hard sometimes, yo. And I’d like to get better at it. I really really want to “hear Him” a lot better than I do. Don’t get me wrong, I try, and I have definitely been guided throughout my life. But sometimes it’s just so dang subtle and I am weary of guessing and hoping a certain direction is right... after a few steps in, more clarity always comes, but it requires so much patience!