An Eye Single to the Glory of God

Yesterday’s Relief Society lesson via Zoom left me feeling like the Grinch when he finds himself crying & says in confusion, “What's happening to me? I'm all...toasty inside. And I'm leaking!”

We had just sung “As Sisters in Zion” at the request of our sweet teacher, & although someone warned her we’d all hear the music come through our screens differently, she insisted, “We’re gonna do it!”

Sure enough, our voices were all disjointed & it did NOT sound pretty! And yet... tears burned in my eyeballs as we sang together— or, sort of together! They rolled down my cheeks during the prayer. And by the time I’d shut my laptop, I was full on “LEAKING”!

The spirit hit me so strongly! Was it because we hadn’t sung together since pre-COVID? Was it the truths in the song itself? Yes and yes!

But part of it was it because all week I’d been pondering- no, agonizing: WHY does it hurt so much when loved ones leave my faith? 

Why does it feel so heavy & dark? So personal?

Why does it matter? 

We can believe differently & it can be okay, right?

But what I felt singing with sisters of faith... that kind of unity is indescribable. There is profound power & beauty & joy in it! And I realized some of my tears were... mourning. Because, THIS. It is missing THIS feeling, this bond, this spiritual understanding with loved ones that makes it so painful. I can’t help it. 

Sometimes I find myself resentful, angry, & passive aggressive. Like, I’m right & you’re wrong! How can they not see?

But it is “faith, hope, charity and love, with an eye single to the glory of God” that “qualify him for the work” (D&C 4:5)

NOT despair, spite, contention, or pride.

I ask myself: is MY eye SINGLE to the GLORY of GOD? Is my desire to live the gospel & spread goodness rooted in FAITH, HOPE, & CHARITY, in the joy & peace in Christ? Are my motives pure? 

I can do better.

Yesterday we each heard the music differently. We weren’t in exact harmony. We weren’t quite in tune. Yet, unity came.

Maybe it’s possible. If we all try to sing, despite our differences, maybe we can still connect in love, respect, & compassion. Isn’t that what humanity is? 

I mean, if the Grinch can do it, so can we...