Be Still And Know That I Am God

I was walking to the school cafeteria when I heard my name on the intercom. I had a message in the office to call home.

My oma had died. My beloved oma. 

When I got home, I ran to my mom. We held each other & cried. I’d never heard her cry like that before. She said, “My mommy is gone!”

That day my opa came to live with us. He was meek, humble, & loved making people laugh. He also suffered from dementia. So sometimes he’d ask in his thick German accent, “Where’s oma? Why am I alone?”

It was heartbreaking.

One day he asked me.

I said, “She’s… gone.” 

“At home?”

Uhh…

“At home up there.” I pointed up.

“I have no frau? I am alone?” I can still hear his sorrow.

“No, you’re not alone! You have us! And oma is waiting for you.”

Solemnly, knowingly, he repeated, “She’s waiting for me.”

Then I turned from him & bawled.

I felt grief deep in my chest. For him. For me. For my mom. It was too much!

I’d heard stories of people who flipped open their scriptures & found exactly what they needed. So I went to the backyard. I said a prayer.

I opened up my book. My eyes fell on the page. D&C 101:36-37: “Wherefore, fear not even unto death; for in this world your joy is not full, but in me your joy is full. Therefore, care not for the body, neither the life of the body; but care for the soul, & for the life of the soul.”

Wow. Say what you will about coincidences; I felt ALL those words in that moment. I felt my Savior’s love. I felt Him telling me not to worry about my oma. Her earthly body which had suffered so much… yes, it was gone. But not her soul. Do not fear death!

Fullness of joy isn’t found in the world; it’s found in Him. Don’t care for the body; care for the soul.

My 16-year-old heart was stilled.

The day of oma’s viewing, I wrote, “I could feel oma there. A burning roller coaster feeling. I’d feel it like flash every once in awhile.”

She was there. 

And she didn’t have too long to wait for opa.

He joined her a year later.

I miss them both.

But I know there is life after death. I know God is in control. I know He is aware of me. I know: He is God.

“Let your hearts be comforted… for all flesh is in mine hands; be still & know that I am God.” (16)