Something Divine
Well-- startin' a new blog! I have had this on my mind for a long time now. I have felt whispers for quite awhile telling me, "You are missing it." Meaning... I'm not writing things down enough! Meaning, I am too distracted. Meaning, life is slipping by, so don't miss this stage, right now!
I have blogged for a long time. I love to document, to write, to share. I love keeping track of my life. Otherwise, this mommy brain would forget nearly everything, that's for sure. Just yesterday I was reading in my 7th grade journal. It brought back so much. Details and feelings I had forgotten. Some things I wish stayed forgotten, haha. But some things surprised me, and I was grateful I wrote down the thoughts of my 13-year-old self. Because like it or not, the events in my life at age 13 helped shape who I am. Whether we want to forget the past or not, we can't deny that it shapes us, that layer by layer it adds thoughts and perspectives and experiences to who we are. I love catching those moments, those ah-ha moments, those tender moments, those heart and soul-piercing moments, the ones that make me laugh, the ones that make me cry. That's why I started a blog in the first place, when I only had two kids. That blog sure changed over the years! From writing the funny, crazy, frustrating, and adorable stories of babies and toddlers to keeping up with the many activities that six children entails! I stopped writing "in the moment" and was constantly trying to catch up with pictures, and soon it just became captions of pictures... which is basically what Instagram is. I already have an Instagram account. So it just felt redundant to keep a blog as well. I miss writing things in the moment. Instagram is good for that, but sometimes I want to write a little bit more freely, and sometimes I get in my head a bit too much on there. I don't want to check for "likes" about things that matter to me. I don't want to feel like I am taking up room on people's feeds. I know, silly stuff. But I also hate that the second I log on, I get caught up in scrolling. It is fun to see what others are up to, for sure, but it also can be so distracting. That said, I'll keep posting to Instagram because it really is a fantastic format for captioning the picture highlights of my life not only for me, but for friends and family who want to stay up-to-date on us, especially now we've moved out of state (plus, it's #forthechatbooks). But I'm not sure it's the space for what I'm thinking about...
So why this space? Why a new blog? Why not just a private journal for these moments I want to record? Good question, glad you asked. Journaling is a huge part of who I am! I've kept private journals since I was 8 years old. I have like a billion of them. I still write in a private journal (though inconsistently) and it's definitely valuable to have a place JUST for me, a place for my eyes only. But, like it or not, I'm realizing when I feel like I'm writing for an "audience," with the intent of someone actually reading it, it makes me more accountable, more focused, more creative, a better writer, it pushes me in a positive way. There's just something about sharing the good, the bad, the ugly, the real, the honest, the authentic, things that mean something to me, in hopes maybe it will mean something to someone else, too. Deep down I want to be a voice for good in this world. And sure, part of me is like, uhhh, maybe you don't have anything to contribute! But then another part of me is like, Maybe You Do. So. This is a blog for writing. That is how this blog is different. There's not going to be hundreds of family pictures to scroll through. And it is not going to be perfect by any means. I once thought I was a good writer, but I'm not sure anymore, honestly. I'm out of practice. So I will practice. I will write. I will write things that matter most. I'm not sure how I'll go about this exactly. I've struggled with what to even write for this first post. But if it gets me to find and hold onto more precious moments in my life, if it helps me be more present, if it helps me not "miss" what's right in front of me... then I'll be happy.
And so my moment today is just a few minutes ago as I watched Easter messages and videos about Christ while my 7-year-old laid her head on my shoulder. This 7-year-old can be a difficult child and she tests me and tries me and I struggle to understand her sometimes. But I felt the Spirit so strongly, and I had to hold back tears. And feeling her in my arms, I just felt so much love for her. Love for my Savior. We watched Brooke White sing a song called "Something Divine," and it just hit me, boom! THAT is it. That is what I will strive to find every day, Something Divine.
And I'll record it here.
I have blogged for a long time. I love to document, to write, to share. I love keeping track of my life. Otherwise, this mommy brain would forget nearly everything, that's for sure. Just yesterday I was reading in my 7th grade journal. It brought back so much. Details and feelings I had forgotten. Some things I wish stayed forgotten, haha. But some things surprised me, and I was grateful I wrote down the thoughts of my 13-year-old self. Because like it or not, the events in my life at age 13 helped shape who I am. Whether we want to forget the past or not, we can't deny that it shapes us, that layer by layer it adds thoughts and perspectives and experiences to who we are. I love catching those moments, those ah-ha moments, those tender moments, those heart and soul-piercing moments, the ones that make me laugh, the ones that make me cry. That's why I started a blog in the first place, when I only had two kids. That blog sure changed over the years! From writing the funny, crazy, frustrating, and adorable stories of babies and toddlers to keeping up with the many activities that six children entails! I stopped writing "in the moment" and was constantly trying to catch up with pictures, and soon it just became captions of pictures... which is basically what Instagram is. I already have an Instagram account. So it just felt redundant to keep a blog as well. I miss writing things in the moment. Instagram is good for that, but sometimes I want to write a little bit more freely, and sometimes I get in my head a bit too much on there. I don't want to check for "likes" about things that matter to me. I don't want to feel like I am taking up room on people's feeds. I know, silly stuff. But I also hate that the second I log on, I get caught up in scrolling. It is fun to see what others are up to, for sure, but it also can be so distracting. That said, I'll keep posting to Instagram because it really is a fantastic format for captioning the picture highlights of my life not only for me, but for friends and family who want to stay up-to-date on us, especially now we've moved out of state (plus, it's #forthechatbooks). But I'm not sure it's the space for what I'm thinking about...
So why this space? Why a new blog? Why not just a private journal for these moments I want to record? Good question, glad you asked. Journaling is a huge part of who I am! I've kept private journals since I was 8 years old. I have like a billion of them. I still write in a private journal (though inconsistently) and it's definitely valuable to have a place JUST for me, a place for my eyes only. But, like it or not, I'm realizing when I feel like I'm writing for an "audience," with the intent of someone actually reading it, it makes me more accountable, more focused, more creative, a better writer, it pushes me in a positive way. There's just something about sharing the good, the bad, the ugly, the real, the honest, the authentic, things that mean something to me, in hopes maybe it will mean something to someone else, too. Deep down I want to be a voice for good in this world. And sure, part of me is like, uhhh, maybe you don't have anything to contribute! But then another part of me is like, Maybe You Do. So. This is a blog for writing. That is how this blog is different. There's not going to be hundreds of family pictures to scroll through. And it is not going to be perfect by any means. I once thought I was a good writer, but I'm not sure anymore, honestly. I'm out of practice. So I will practice. I will write. I will write things that matter most. I'm not sure how I'll go about this exactly. I've struggled with what to even write for this first post. But if it gets me to find and hold onto more precious moments in my life, if it helps me be more present, if it helps me not "miss" what's right in front of me... then I'll be happy.
And so my moment today is just a few minutes ago as I watched Easter messages and videos about Christ while my 7-year-old laid her head on my shoulder. This 7-year-old can be a difficult child and she tests me and tries me and I struggle to understand her sometimes. But I felt the Spirit so strongly, and I had to hold back tears. And feeling her in my arms, I just felt so much love for her. Love for my Savior. We watched Brooke White sing a song called "Something Divine," and it just hit me, boom! THAT is it. That is what I will strive to find every day, Something Divine.
And I'll record it here.
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