Write at the Heart

 Sooo… How’s your memory? One of my kids informed me tonight that they had to interview someone who has “memories & experiences” from 9/11. Due tomorrow. #ofcourse I began telling her the story I’d been telling for years. “Well, I had JUST started college. I woke up alone in my apartment cause I had a later class & all my roommates were gone. The TV had been left on a news station. As I ate cereal I tried to change the station, but they were all showing the same thing…” Then I said: “Actually, let me go get my journal!” And as I read what I wrote in my journal on 9/11, I was shocked to find my memory DID NOT MATCH what I had written! I did NOT wake up alone in my apartment. Wait, what?! My roommate was there. Like, the good friend I shared MY room with! The TV wasn’t left on. SHE was watching it! She & I watched the news together. Wondered what the heck was going on together. Hearts dropping together. 💔 Um. HOW did I forget she was with me?? THE WHOLE TIME? I had writt...

“Save me, O God; for the waters are come in unto my soul. “I sink in deep mire, where there is no standing: I am come into deep waters, where the floods overflow me. “I am weary of my crying: my throat is dried: mine eyes fail while I wait for my God.” (Psalms 69:1-3) WHO has not felt this?! Help me! I’m in trouble! I’m sick of crying! God, where are you? And then the next part-  “O God, thou knowest my foolishness; & my sins are not hid from thee.” (5) You KNOW I’m weak. You see me as I am. How did I get into this mess! But please- “Deliver me out of the mire, & let me not sink: let me be delivered… out of the deep waters” (14) LET ME NOT SINK. You don’t have to take away the mud. Just let. me. not. sink. The other day my 12-year-old daughter was sinking. My husband & I were gone. She lay crying in our bed. My 13-year-old son had seen she was in distress. He went to find her. He heard her cries. Hugged her. Comforted her. Told her he was there for her, no matter what. ...

  In an effort to keep me motivated, I set a goal to cross 12 finish lines this year. I’m up to 8 races 😅 🙌 Some have gone better than others, but in every case I finish giving it all I’ve got, sweaty, exhausted, depleted, looking for water & the special finish line snacks (& MAYBE a porta-potty 😆) The BEST was after a super hard, super hot half marathon- they were handing out Wendy’s chocolate frosties at the finish 🥳  I THINK I HEARD THE HALLELUJAH CHORUS. NOTHING tasted better in that moment! And just like that, I felt rejuvenated & restored. LIFE WAS GREAT AGAIN. “Come & hear, all ye that fear God, & I will declare what he hath done for my soul.” (Psalms 66:16) What hath He done for my soul? So much more than a frosty! But do I declare it? I need to do better. Truly, in those times of struggle, exhaustion, numbness, helplessness, unworthiness… “He restoreth my soul” (Psalms 23:3) He’s there handing out bananas, granola bars, energy gels along the wa...